Cannon fodder
by Versapellis13
Summary: Made the effort to keep just this side of cannon using show innuendo as reference. Cas and Dean… Dean and Crowley... humor, angst, sex, violence, some gore. Please comment. may continue.
1. panic mode activated

dean knew there was a emptiness in him, a distraught knowledge there would never be enough he could hold in his hands and bend out the span of the way the world was and could be.

maybe itself a void that was the like nature of will, want, a scrambling thing that could take in the entire universe and leave room for space between stars, and still not be full. he wanted everything, but knew it would not be enough...as much as had the void to fill.

so needing nothing was cool, it would never be enough.

But somehow the beating of life against him and bitter glimpses at great hope for simply barreling in headfirst into what could be out of what is... had given him at least purpose, glimmering vaporous something he never would grasp but could reach for.

but now the mark on his arm and the thought that he would never be cured, never go back from the twisting of his soul.

maybe it was just another scar on his mind flesh and soul, battle scars he knew he would collect, worth collecting because they signified a course overcome or at least that's what he could tell himself to quiet doubt or fear before.

dean wondered if there was a place for him in heaven or hell or purgatory, how hard any of those places would have to swallow to gulp down the weird he had made of himself.

a passing fiddling thought he wondered if he would bend against all rules of life and afterlife and ride the line between avenging ghost and soul consuming demibeast and devour and assimilate the souls wandering the earth out of the loop like him and create a new kind of monster.

but to what goal other than the struggle to live and exist and eek out meaning.

more of the same tune to a different beat.

dean sat in his room and looked at it, a mark itself of how far and strange his journey. he had a place of his own, a angel down the hallway that all but ripped out his eyes bloody for his cause and himself and a new insurmountable set to deal with.

but that really wasn't what had him down at the moment, his sore everything wondered if he was going to make it this time.

he was beginning to think that while he had flesh and bone he would 'give em hell' and fade into whatever was next. dean had supposed that his angel could and would pay him a visit, maybe stay by his side, in his corner of heaven, or his cell in hell, or as he flitted mad and free through purgatory.

for in his spin of life he at least had a few inside bits of knowledge and among them was that at least he would have this, it was a strange and vaporous thing to have assurance like that but it was real enough some distant assurance that if all went to literal hell he would still see his unicorn flitting in and out of the fog.

dean for a moment wondered if he died in that fight with Metatron and he was now just a moving thing filled with all of his own junk mail and no soul, like Sam had been once. dean knew that wasn't possible right because he had been his own demon, so his soul was there twisted up somehow, right?

he walked around his room, everything he had and the walls were a bit bare still, he liked the keen simplicity, the room asked for nothing of him and he made it uncomplicated. but there wasn't much he could do with it, it was there to be ripped apart or debauched or he could sleep, he could do anything to this room be any sort of wreck in it but the shaking of his entire being on the brink of something he was sure was too much would not be but another mess to clean.

rage or tears or wretched swirl were just pointless, but he could not find his center for smoothing over it all into a state of disassociation, for a moment dean wondered if he should call up Crowley and they could inject blood together and watch crank for the hell of it. the demon getting high and dean reassuring himself the demon in him was dead, something to do together as man and beast separated by the thin line of humanity dean wondered if was changing back just as fast as the blood of his first cleansing from demon was pushed out of his system, maybe he needed a touch up.

there was no comfort here. dean found himself walking down the hall to the room Cas had chosen to take it was empty, no doubt his brother and Cas talking about deans prognoses and the death of Cain. but dean solemnly grabbed a pillow off Cas bed and flopped down and cried and screamed and hoped he would get it all out before he was found, not particularly in the habit of public pity parties or slumping off into utter wreckage for all to see he felt his disassociation from himself watch half sad and amused at the lump of a man sobbing into his angels pillow.

he didn't want to burden anyone anymore than he already did, and certainly did not want to scare Cas about the underlying terror of dying apart and the terrifying unknown stripped of promise. but honestly he didn't want to admit he was scared enough to freak out this hard.

dean wakes with a start, feeling dumb and pulls his hand across his face in a face palm of shame for being in Cas's room. the pillow below him still damp and his stomach threatens to lose its contents dean feels like he has a hangover and he hasn't even drank.

he wonders after all this stress why he never got a ulcer, maybe he is getting one now. " you looked like you needed the sleep" intoned a bass from the other side of the room. deans struggle with his stomach plus the revelation of being caught and the spin of lies or platitudes and excuses that must be quickly sorted and sent to his lips all spun down into a simple nausea and he headed to the bathroom with a desperate speed. An after tang of blood left him wondering if the mark really was changing him again or if he was getting a ulcer.

" I'll clean that up" he noted to the angel in the doorway greenly taking in his poor aim at the toilet. dean rested his head on his knees from his spot on the floor and willed the world and his mind to stop spinning. he tried for a moment to think of positive things, like fat Labrador puppies or free car parts made of chrome something so as to stave off another wave of the heaves threatening.

Cas had said something a moment ago and dean could not for the life of him remember or respond, caught up in a swirly fight against mind and body and will. he felt something taping his arm and looked up to see Cas offering him a glass of water. dean took it and pressed it to his forehead to cool his oncoming headache.

then tried to sip at it, he needed to brush his teeth the taste was bile. " hey Cas" dean looked up at the angel caught somewhere between man and immortal, inverse from his own struggle Cas becoming frailer and enriched by it. rather than becoming immortal and tainted by it. " I want to save you, Im going to" and if that was just for the selfish wrenching of hope from causality dean was just as ok with that as any other means to a greater end. a purpose to center himself on again maybe, dean needed a target a direction a thing to narrow himself down into focus on.

"your delirious, have you eaten something bad or drank too much?" the gravel from the doorway intoned. dean laughed, and could not stop until he was forced to wretch again.

once empty Cas helped the gasping dean to his bed. dean for the most part shaky and on the edge of physical or mental breakdown, he was unfamiliar with the symptoms of full on panic attack because his walls were well built. they were crashing.

" Cas what about you possess me maybe there is some of your grace left from when you healed me to life after hell? maybe that will give you a boost" "or maybe when I'm a demon again I possess you and keep you alive after your grace is gone till we find out how to save you?" " what about if you recharged on the residual grace left in vessels after the angels left?" "or we could..."

Cas had put his hand over deans mouth, and leaned in a look that even without their connection would have said shut up on his face. dean appreciated the panic and spinning room and his outer silence did not stop his inner world from panicky jump from one thing to the next. a passing wisp of thought reminded him that he was in Cas's room still, and dean felt low for the silliness of it. another passing wisp noted to himself he should never do speed if he was even capable of panic this big, having fiddled with the idea once of it dealing with a beast of supernatural reflex. dean gasped for air and found his throat closed off in panic his lungs impotent to air and tried to strain his will to calm because he could not even fucking breath!

Dean curled into a ball arms crossed his hands cluthing at his ribs. Forcing himself to focus on anything dean looked at Cas now sitting on the edge of his bed looking off into the space just above himself incapable of knocking dean unconscious with his abilities anything short of actually knocking dean out with his fists. Castile weighed the option, would it be the better thing to do for the distressed dean?

dean himself ungracefully skootched himself to cas and hugged him. Cas for his part looked slightly relived and held deans wrist on his shoulder. Eventually deans panic attack lessened, at least he could draw breath again. and as he pulled himself back together his conventions and intellect returning he held onto his angel his head resting on the shoulder still even against his own judgment if only for the fact that he could, and already was. Cas still holding dean by the wrist turned out of the embrace and set his other hand on deans shoulder pushing him back into the bed.

" dude I've got a headache" dean said with a unsure eyebrow quirk, then pressed his lips together wondering how Cas had become so pop culture literate now he might understand the quip. " your on my bed and we both need sleep." Cas crawled further onto the bed, which was over dean and grabbed a pillow and unceremoniously lifted deans confused head and put the pillow under it and flopped beside dean and threw a pillow next to him and put a arm over dean and snuggled in comfortably. the aquard of any given situation was as usual fully taken up by Cas and what dean assumed was a terminal case of out of the loop on convention. dean looked at the ceiling and decided if he wasn't going to get eternity with his angel he would enjoy whatever he got, and for the most part, right now even as he thought it a sick knot curled in his stomach and a tightness griped his throat, he did not want to be alone.

Dean gasped a sob back in his throat and held it clenched in his teeth as it tried to esacpe them anyway his whole frame shook with the effort. Cas poked deans side "relax" cas rolled a thumb against deans shirt reassuringly and buried his face in the space between deans shoulder and pillow his voice muffled cas said something about relaxing and comfort.

but half a hour later Cas was snoring and dean was awake still. he got up and cleaned the mess in the bathroom and took a shower and went to his room and considered the bed, oh he knew he would have nightmares tonight.

walking to the bookshelf he grabbed a bottle off it, his stomach sent out a note of pain. oh he could tell himself it was for the best he was trying to live cleaner not 'feed his demons' but just now he knew he would be sick before he could get drunk. somewhere in the back of his head was the little nagging thought that this type of stuff no longer effected him like it should anyway, even food when he forced it down was foreign and uninviting. dean wondered if this was just all a new level of depression.

dean threw the bottle expecting a satisfying crash but it just thudded against the wall and fell to the floor to spin once, the weakness in his throw surprising dean. the room tilting slightly and his breathing short dean bit into his hand and tried to count to ten. his hand was shaking he noted with irritation. dean headed back to cas's room and snuck in grateful that apparently a angel in threat of mortality is a strong sleeper and crawled next to him and let himself just shut down, dean wondered if this was sleep or unconsciousness as it washed into him. dean Winchester did not faint, that was just not his style.

At some point dean woke up to Cas looking at him sleep, his ingrained alarm bells going off that he was being watched and dean merely set his head back down and looked back. Cas was apparently still able to look into deans soul or the action of his head tilt and piercing gaze was so ingrained he just looked it.

dean for his part thought his soul wasn't up for that level of scrutiny and flipped himself closer to the angel and grabbed the angels coat, but the action had no other meaning than to distract the gaze. that the angel was so prone to easy distraction by his charge. it was generally a relief to dean at the moment.

Cas was staring at deans hand on his coat. as consequences drew out and into deans brain he was unsure what to do next, as the aquard spread out and lasting and the angel which was so used to concepts of eternity just observed the action for its sake alone. dean chuffed to himself and swatted Cas's shoulder playfully "dude im ok" and settled back into a comfortable position again. a green eye sparing a glance at a Cas who was still dissecting the air just above his head.

"if your going to read my mind and soul its only fair to let me do the same back and right now im not up for hour-long eyesex ok, go to sleep or your going to make me crawl under the bed."

maybe he should go... but he could stay and maybe sleep, but why sleep. why try to pretend to sleep even...Dean considered using puppy eyes for a moment, knowing full well that at one point they had indeed averted the apocalypse but as the thought passed by without finding good hold he just closed his eyes against it all...

"its too much right now" "im not up for a existential chick flick moment, I just want to..." dean reached over and pushed Cas's pillow to a square shape and patted it. "sleep" he tried to make the word sound like a inviting tropical type of destination or something. he put his hands up in the air and visually encompassed the idea

"without nightmares, dreams, and soul sucking... everythingness" his arms went limp dean let them flop. the bed tilted left them right, on account of his equilibrium being fucked, going crazy sure felt like concussive force trauma.

the next day dean woke to the knocking on the door his brother Sam was knocking and calling for Cas and freaking out because he could not find dean anywhere. and the ruffled Cas who had slept in his trench and only had one shoulder in it answered the door bleary eyed and generally hair in every direction, which dean reflected later perhaps was not a good view with dean himself in the background looking around like where am I?

dean and his brother make eye contact and dean did the first thing that came to mind and threw a pillow over Cas's head right into Sam's face. the rainbow of confusion and short-circuiting facial expression make dean laugh and he falls back into the covers and enjoys another room spinning unconseousness.

* * *

Sam sat across from Cas and watched him eat cereal, dean still passed out on his bed. Cas had left a few pills and water by the bed for when he woke up.

" so you and dean..." Cas looked up from his bowl of cereal "we slept together" he stated then went back to eating.

Sam gave a full body twitch and swallowed hard and looked back to Cas both hands holding the edge of the table and his open jaw uselessly twitching at the end of his face "so how long has that been happening?" sam asked.

Cas considered "off and on for years now, but much more often I dream with dean than sleep with him".

sam had the urge to puke that was so sweet, he pulled himself together long enough to raise a questioning finger and arm, face in forced neutral but then Cas looked up and off into the near distance "last night he was quite distressed, and couldn't breath" Cas leveled his eyes at a deer in the headlights Sam "he was crying" Cas set his spoon in the now empty bowl and got up to walk out of the kitchen

"I think I'll give him a backrub and see if it will help him relax, he could use some uninterrupted sleep though" Cas looked like he was weighing his options before rounding the corner out of site. Sam for his part went to the fridge and grabbed a armful of beer to get to the big bottle of jack hiding behind them and started chugging. " nope, no, nah uh... no *glug* no *glug*"

Cas paused in the hallway as his recently innuendo and book and such literate self processed retrospectively what he had said, and went still in his step down the hall. he wasn't used to all this knowledge and it reeled out in retrospect more often than in real time. it was a adjustment, he thought for a second about going back to clarify, but then with a little tug at the corner of his mouth headed to his room, Cas could use the humorous distraction of letting that marinate.

when Cas got back to his room dean was woken by the door opening " hey man I don't know what got into me yesterday" he got up and clumsily headed to the door which Cas was in front of effectively blocking it, dean leveled his gaze at the slightly shorter man "thank you for putting up with me" his eye to the open space between door and hinge he swayed his upper body to the doorway hoping to indicate a want to leave but Cas was in the way so firmly dean did not really want to make further eye contact and his eye twitched on its own accord when Cas didn't take the hint and move.

"dean im here whenever you need it, even if you think im 'putting up with it' im here" Cas looked meaningfully into the side of deans face, as that was all the man was giving him at the moment. he watched deans jaw work and his lip give a tremble.

dean hugged Cas and felt like a cheap bastard when he hugged Cas for the most part just to adjust him enough to get out of the door and flee to his room but he was free, and once the door closed, alone. again. which was a relief and a opening wound "mutherfuck"

dean looked at his bed with a determination to try to sleep or pretend to sleep and get his walls back in order. if a pillow could have thought his would have braced itself in fear with the intensity it was being approached with.


	2. In bloom

Ch2

Cas was bored, a thing he had not really had to deal with till recently.

Even when he had his job the last time he fell he had bills to pay, forms to fill out. Unbidden Cas remembered the painful experience of going to the D.M.V for his driving test and license.

"sir you are registered as a missing person, you need to go to the police station and fill out form 10-c get your fingerprint card and if necessary reactivate your social in case you were classified as deceased"

the lady had looked at him piercingly "also I need two forms of I.D." Cas had shifted uncomfortably

"but I'm right here and I lost all my paperwork" the lady pursed her lips very "well then what state were you born in you need them to send a state valid copy of your birth certificate"

her pen hovered over paper expectantly while cas tried to rifle through his memory for details he was unsure the location of or access to in his brain. The ladies eyes softened for a moment taking in the man wracking his brain before her then narrowed in irritation.

"sir if you have had a recent head trauma that effects memory as well you are going to need to get a medical evaluation before you can get a license" she taped on her computer a bit and looked him up and down "have you been in a hospital recently for physical or mental trauma" cas merely turned around and walked out.

The eventual driving test had been a small nightmare as well…

Squashing that set of flashing images from his head he considered the archives in front of him. He had exhausted every book and resource to try to solve his and deans problem to no avail and could not think of anything new. He was reserving his energy, could not fly on whim even if he wanted to.

So he had become familiar with the bunker. But now that he could read a book free of all but need for distraction, he had a millennia of Meditrons info in his head. So that had lost its appeal. Maybe he could write stories, facts and such to increase the library of men of letters? The men of letters seemed a masochistic bunch in that they wrote in Latin or Enochian and Sumerian to keep their tomes difficult to read even in their own library. one ridiculous book was hand drawn cuneiform scratches.

Maybe to show off, maybe to keep the uneducated even among themselves from reading. Sure there were copies of ancient text in their original language, no lingual telephone there but also books written in obscure languages for the apparent heck of it.

Cas wondered if perhaps tom sawyer would be funnier in Enocian, and smiled to himself. There was a room with some musical instruments maybe he could play one?

But then like a strike to his mind he was aware in his new knowledge music, so much music he knew about. But then even as that thought passed he knew his taste in music was not Metatrons and could near see his mind recategorizing the whole set of info for his own brains definitions.

Cas felt a bit dizzy. Laptop, he needed to find a laptop, suddenly he needed to listen to music to confirm his opinions on his second hand info.

On one hand Cas was no longer bored but now he was almost annoyed at the amount of sorting he wanted to do. While flitting from one place to the next interdimensionally was a second nature to Cas he found a joyful sort of annoyance in walking all the way from the archives to the main room, where Sam was on a couch reading a book with a bottle of whisky on the table and his computer on the other table.

Cas ignored Sam in his goal but though he had not a connection with Sam near his brother he could feel that Sam was focusing on the book with a forced singularity instead of Cas himself as he passed. It occurred to Cas as he opened his tenth tab in a lineup of songs and pressed play on the first one that maybe the angel, demon, and all tablets might be in his head if Metitron had indeed given him all of his knowledge of what he read and such.

Cas could recall movies he had never seen, as Cas looked past the screen in front of him he wondered if he could use what Metitron had given him to remember the voice or face of god, a comforting thing to Cas to imagine even second hand.

Closing his eyes against all but digesting and sifting through his own mind he was overcome with the vast swell of just so much cluttered info, he imagined that in order to carve through the bulk he would have to sort through it like finding a needle in a haystack. A distracting thought passed that his intense concentration had blown his earphones, rather Sam's.

Cas was unaware he had been using his power, and was pleasantly surprised that he was still healthy enough even as he was to accidentally do something like this. Unplugging the headphones and listening to music on the speakers Cas at length found himself reading about the dewy decimal system, maybe if he sorted the info in his head like this it would be easier.

The auto player on the website rolled from one song to the next and Cas let it intent on his next task. But after a while he felt Sam staring at him making eye contact when he could no longer even pretend not to be aware of Sam staring lasers with him Cas raised a eyebrow. Sam was drunk, and grinned at Cas "making dean a mix tape?" Sam propped his head up between his hands and tilted his head "you gonna make dean breakfast in bed?"

Cas looked at Sam and a swirl of available witty retorts danced just under his lips but he looked back at the computer and pretended to continue what he was doing. Witty retorts were not really his thing, but now he had the info in context to make them.

Cas was in existential peril was he the sum of his knowledge, would this second hand experience and info change him or enrich him.

He still was himself right even as the info filtered into himself as a eventual conformability?

Deftones change was playing and Cas quickly got up and backed awy from the computer, creeped out a little.

The zemblanity of it was terrifying, and he doubted it now but its possibility was making him uneasy.

His taste for music and musing through his counter-interests was effectively soured for now. The mention of food by sam enticing, as his various weaknesses came and went and humanity lingered in and out of possibility Cas had found joy in human things given plain and gritty medium.

Today he would make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and see how well his tongue could taste today.

A sum of molecules once had again turned into a wonderful bliss. Cas puffed his breath into his hand to see if his morning breath was bad as he had forgotten to brush.

It was, he debated kitchen or teeth. Kitchen. Sam murmured from the couch slung haphazardly on it and flowing in and out of the air in front of himself his mind drawled.

Cas resolutely beelined for the jack bottle and took it with him, immune to Sam's poor attempt to do anything other than whine about it "heeey bring that back" everyone was taking a day off, Cas fixed himself a sandwich and left the bunker to eat it outside enjoying some sunshine and a bashful shameful joy in his sandwich he took in the sunlight and the details of the trees and bugs and the earth, while considering the nature of mostly willess kinetic of air brushing the leaves on the tree he was leaning against, the leaf itself pulling in protons, while the tree caught up in concern of water conservation was caught between opening its stoma to take in the carbon dioxide Cas was emitting and closing them to not lose moisture.

Cas himself was polishing off the bottle of jack he enjoyed the rising burn of it rolling around just inside of his ears and in his stomach and was confronted by a curious fat carpenter bee.

Cas could not help the joy of reconisation of the bee buzzing before him did they speak the same language as the noble honey bee? Cas set his lips against his teeth and buzzed at the bee who landed on his shoulder and conversed for a moment about the flowers and the mathematical relations of the space between them as it danced wobbly, while the carpenter bee did not often dance it was still determined to share, on his collar and buzzed off on its way.

Cas smiled to himself and wandered over to the field indicated and lie among the flowers, listening to the insects buzzing, half heard conversations. Birds shouted out their territorial cries and cried sexual innuendos, bursts of fear and anger in chirps of different tone. A meadowlark rang through in uncertain mating call, sounding healthy but unsure of itself.

Cas guessed it was the bird equivalent of a teenager. A crow in the distance cawed to another making note across the distance that it had found food and its buddy should join it for the meal.

cas pulled back to himself and thought about what dean had said while distressed and remembered that he had once possessed dean but not fully, would there be his grace left in the man from those few quick and incomplete interactions? What was the nature of Cas's hand print interdenominationaly relevant? Was there his grace left in the man?

* * *

Cas had popped up in the hotel room, dean was asleep. Cas observed the man for a moment and considered leaving, his wings tilted for it. Cas needed a distraction, and dean was asleep.

What to do now.

Maybe he should groom his wings, they were functional but they reflected his frayed mental distress, maybe some meditation and some attendance to his interdimensional ties.

His stability was good, but could it be better? Cas brought his wings to current dimensional restraint and considered them, he brought jimmy's borrowed flesh to one and gave it a poke, his manifested soul gave a reassuring resistance, and it was stable enough not to cause the flesh harm, manifesting ones soul without putting out harmful rays was tedious and demanding, after all the visual field was so restricted within a certain wavelength, and it was weighted with his being.

They looked a bit unkempt, the distress of current circumstance ruffled a feather here and there.

Jimmy himself was somewhere in there, unconscious and rising now and then with curiosity and though Cas could push him back down, he was aware of his intendance to jimmy's distress being so near to his own conscious jimmy was in a state of malaise.

There was just so much to do, Cas hadn't really had the time to consider the details. "Cas what are you doing?" dean kept the volume low as his brother was asleep as well but still managed to put emotion into it.

Cas walked up to dean and noted the white in his eye get bigger as he approached, his wings still out Cas later realized was perhaps a bit unnerving. Cas put his hand to deans forehead and transported him to a empty Wal-Mart parking lot where he now lay in the concrete gagging slightly "Jesus! Warn a guy!"

dean stood up and took in the surroundings as if ready for a fight against the dark in between the lot lights. When nothing jumped out and obviously said boo, he leveled his gaze at Cas who was merely observing.

"the hell man?" had the man thought that he would be needed in battle? True the man could take a hit, and the new info he would be willing to help in a moments notice was filed away despite the hilarity that Cas would need to grab the man as backup for a battle he could not handle alone.

"I want you to take care of my vessel for a while I attend to myself but I'm not really safe…" Cas searched for a word, naked, degloved, insubstantial? "attend to yourself?" dean looked Cas over as if looking for injury, then his eyebrow quirked

"what" Cas looked off through the store to note a particularly large possum behind the store chowing down on a large bug. "I am in a kind of disarray and would like to pull myself together better to be effective"

"you are a….. dynamic thinker and I was thought you might help" deans eyebrows attempted to leave his hairline, then quickly descend.

"so you want me to baby-sit jimmy for a while". at length dean asked "so what's jimmy's idea of a night on the town, what does he do? if I took him to a stripper bar would that be blasphemy?"

Cas who had let jimmy be aware for the conversation asked a answer to this question "jimmy says he enjoys long walks on the beach, ritual sacrifice and cocaine"

after a moment he felt jimmy laugh somewhere within him at his expense " jimmy is being uncooperative and ornery" Cas said with a sigh "also dean you have blasphemed in your words at least once in this conversation alone" dean laughed hysterically for a uncomfortably long time in Cas's opinion.

"ok man I got you" Cas evaluated the man not as a man but a place and assessed him, a vessel.

"you know dean if I need a place to hide it would be very convenient to be able to come to you, I am vulnerable apart from jimmy, and if something goes wrong my ability to properly defend myself is greatly hindered" dean looked both scared and pissed alternately

"hell no" . He controlled his face "I'm down for babysitting, you trust me enough with that but I'm not just some pimped out ride everyone wants a spin in"

"very well" cas put his finger to deans forehead while he was in the mist of working up a further onslaught of words and transported him to the impala.

Dean weakly leaned against it and closed his eyes "seriously, stop doing that" he said to a now happy jimmy rolling from back to front of his foot in excited nervous. "can we get something to eat?" jimmy said to the now heaving dean. Cas had circled and fled to some nearby woods as a insubstantial light.

It was later when Cas had come back that he was having difficulty zeroing in on his vessel as both it and dean were walking down the street equally drunk and singing [what Cas now recognized as dropkick Murphy's drink and fight, or was it buck-o-nine did dropkick do a cover eh why get distracted mid reminisce cas thought] both being vessels and inebriated he could feel them both but they were both in the same emotion too.

Cas spun around them and picked one, the wrong one.

Cas had plunged down the throat of dean and felt as soon as he reached out that this was not jimmy and turned on himself and fled to jimmy.

A onlooker to the drunken pair had seen a blue light drawn between the two men whose faces were turned to each other and flicked his blunt, believing himself done for the day, month, week, ever, maybe he should pick up knitting as a relaxing venture…

Dean had later said that he didn't remember much but feeling cas realize the mistake and going to jimmy, and cas knew had not attempted to fully possess dean.

Dean had herd cas asking and had said yes in drunken joke, but had meant it as well despite himself.

But thankfully by the time dean was aware of it enough to react it was the next day and with a hangover and cas heard the blasphemous prayers to his name and was grateful because they were so narrowly directed at him that his brothers or sisters would probably not hear.

The other time had been while he was still having mental health issues, before he had shown up naked and covered in bees on deans impala, cas had unannounced just flew down deans throat and like a pin ball had jumped from rib to rib and hugged deans soul before leaving him again, that same day he had tried to possess a cat who unfortunately could not contain his grace and had sublimated with a rather pathetic "mew".

but Cas could not remember a time he had really fully possessed as a vessel the man, when he had raised dean was a bit blurry in Cas's memory.

Cas sighed and considered wearing something different today as a signifier of his day off, but his thinking on vessels was making him think of if he had taken jimmies kid as a vessel may have been annoying.

In his several near humanity falls he had lost the ability to stop his vessels aging during those stints. How annoying to have to buy clothes to adapt to a growing Childs body, but this one was older. The child may have lived longer but was he going to snuff out no matter his fleshes age when his grace was gone and out, or be mortal? Would he have enjoyed boobs? He did enjoy this body's various switches and tricks.

And why not? It was his day off, Cas grabbed a unopened daisy and bent it down to his mouth and put the stem between his teeth and ran his tongue against it and pushed a tiny bit of his energy against the plants, just enough to touch and mingle, the plants young leaves grew and the older leaves curled up dead the other flowers on it curling into nothing but black echoes.

Cas blushed and resonated his energy with the plant, the thing was a perennial, it would have only lived this year merely to produce the seeds of the next generation its whole life so revolving around reproduction the flower unfolding between his teeth sang a energy of uncontained sexuality sharing his energy and it grew and opened and then blackened and fell leaving a swirl of pollen and a perfume that left the insects looking for nectar swirling lost for its source.

Cas smiled to himself, a small panting passing as his heart returned to a normal pace, what a way to go, and the plant couldn't have had better, Cas put his hand behind his head and lazily grabbed another unopened daisy placing it between his lips and slid his hand down his pants. Certainly the plants experience and his was a different set but why not enjoy the underlying need and pull of it.

Jimmy had at some point been circumcised but after being torn apart, put together and injured in a million ways the angel had healed even that on him just out of side effect of healing the body, now without even the echo of that soul in him Cas felt no abashedness to enjoy. Cas appreciated his form, the swirls on his fingertips were mostly circles with one finger having a loop he had found one time while bored and enjoying his own details, he found that his dimensions below the belt were average, but then later he had found that they were above average his reference being porn.

Cas wondered if his brother would have approved being 'in porn' a few times of cas being well equipped to show him up in his own medium. Cas frowned to himself eew did not want to think of his now dead brother just now.

Cas furled some more energy against the flower and it echoed back a thrum of warm needy. To Cas's joy his becoming human had enriched the ability to just enjoy the act being overwhelmed as a thing, thoughts wandering in every direction, the lack of singularity had always been a trait of his. But humanity had enriched the ability to succumb to anything that would catch him up in its intrigue, to be a victim was not always nice pain and discomfort inescapable was annoying.

But cas running a finger along his frenulum gasped and a petal to the flower in his mouth stuck to his nose a puff of pollen making him sneeze and that even making him gasp Cas grabbed the flower back to his lips and hummed at it swirling his energy in the sound the leaves wilted in the heat of it unstable and too much for the flower when cas drew breath again the flower was ash and cas spit out its remnants, and with mischief grabbed another daisy and bent it to his lips, cas noted he was running out of daisies in his reach and if he didn't cum soon he would have to diversify his energies lovemaking to another thing.

How many vague wisps of flower could he tint and suck up before he was in threat of blasphemy?

Cas gasped and whimpered as he squirmed his orgasm left him panting and he could no longer concentrate on the flower or its destruction and joy, just his passing attempt to control his energy from destroying it, a talent cas regularly aspired to not cause harm even in a state of distraction. The daisy plant had been sucked dry of energy then burned by the flood of Cas's and the flower sat plucked in Cas's closed lips having grown overly large with the strange interaction Cas spun it in front of his face and considered it, now a whole handbreadth in size it would make a good gift for dean. The sky spun in a dizzy wave of whisky tinted afterglow.

Something to cheer his room up. Cas got up, clipped his coat over his front and grabbed his oversensitive dick and gave it a squeeze to enjoy the overwhelming too much of spazzed nerves, cas swayed for a moment and zipped himself not remembering unzipping. Cas made a bouquet to go with his flower.

Cas found himself slumped against the hallway wall and then turned down another hallway upright and supported by a wall his arm holding him up he had been having difficulty finding deans room. Cas knocked on the door " dean, lemme in" the door on the other side of the hallway opened and Cas heard a "the hell?" behind him and turned to dean to ask for another set of clothes on account of everyone having today off and he wanted to look relaxed today.

Dean took in Cas's slur and comical knocking on the door across from his and decided to enjoy whatever weird distraction serendipity had decided to provide him with today.

"sure"

dean visualized in his mind himself penciling in 'attend to Cas being weird' between 'contemplate plausible suicide scenarios' and 'try to pretend to sleep another 14 hours'. dean waved the angel into his room and picked out a shirt and jeans. Handing Cas this dean balked a bit when cas dropped his coat where he stood and toed out of his shoes aquardly. "um Cas how about you change in the bathroom" dean suggested.

Cas scanned the room and his eyes settled onto unattended cup. Cas dropped the flowers in it and put water in it in the sink and set it a little too hard on a likely surface without comment. Cas grabbed his coat off the floor and thanked dean with a slight sway headed to the bathroom to dress. Dean eyed the bouquet on his nightstand in a drinking glass and took in Cas coming from his bathroom in something other than what he wore all the time and while a lot of things were rolling around in his head the one on the forefront was "are you drunk?" dean sat on his bed where he had watched cas swirl around his room. All indicators were pointing to yes cas was lit.


	3. angelic acid trip tours

Ch 3

Cas went to deans laptop and admitted back to dean "yes, probably very, I got bored"

Elephante - Shake The Earth started playing and Cas turned almost tripped and walked to dean grabbed his hand "I want to try something fun" dean looked down at his hand. Dean paused all motion or thought… their hands.

Cas was trying to spin a comforting circle on deans hand but the alcohol factor was making it a jumpy octagon, dean raised a eyebrow and took one careful step back, his hand still held a little too firmly. Cas noted the motion "no, the trippy kind of fun, I imagine your mind could use a distraction too" cas pursed his lips in innocent inquiry and waited.

Dean took in the slurring Cas he had only gotten half of that sentence and it was coming together only in careful retrospect "you know, cas, I thought you were supposed to conserve energy" dean felt weird patronizing a angel, but this was a abnormally drunk one, dean let his hand be held and tried to look calm.

The song was way out of deans taste but he caught the lyrics and felt a joy bounce around, though dean had been so depressed lately it was like a butterfly in a house it didn't belong and was trying to bang against the windows in him.

"our connection makes it as little energy as if I was listening to angel radio" cas swayed to the music and wondered if he knew how to dance now with meditrons info. Dean put out a hand to catch the potentially unsteady cas who had started to sway.

Cas considered his outfit he knew his other sets of clothes in his room were not fashionable, the hobo outfit and his old workpants. Did he look good in deans jeans, dean looked good in his jeans was it the cut? Maybe he should go shopping, he did have some money left in his account, and had pulled some gold up from the placer deposit by Niagara once he had his grace back, before it had started fading.

Cas had not enjoyed being broke or his stint as a homeless man. Dean waved a hand in front of a staring off into space cas. " hey you leave the station without me?" cas looked up at dean and stuck his bottom lip out. "ah no… oh god no" dean felt a rising spiral of anger toward Sam "who taught you to do that" dean covered his eyes who the hell had taught cas puppy eyes. Who else really " I'm going to kill Sam" Dean was looking off to the floor for a good moment, went to lock the door and cas could not help but grin a bit.

Dean was headed back to cas when he stopped and considered the laptop. "The flowers…. The music." "cas if I didn't know any better…" deans face twitched "did you say trippy?" cas was exquisitely drunk and stumbled closer "dean, we have done everything under the sun possible to do without sullying your self construct, I have drawn your soul so near to mine that neither of us has parted the same and that was long before you even had enough together to question your perceptions against reality."

Cas reached out and poked deans where handprint shaped scar had been, or relatively nearby as his aim was off, cas stepped closer "you know I don't have to even touch you to distract you from your physical notions, im here to enjoy you and us a bit and help you relax" cas had it to the nith with deans 'rules'. His ground rules in public were detailed and strict but cas was annoyed. Cas was always waiting for a afterlife because 'complex relationships are a distraction' "you just" dean looked for a way to describe then let it drop.

Dean scratched the back of his head in a nervous gesture then he looked over at cas and then down at the floor again "what the hell, sure" dean looked uncertain "so what are we doing this time?" cas considered for a moment and went to the bathroom to get his tie and put it on the doorknob then closed it and locked it. When cas once again turned to dean the man looked absolutely scandalized. Dean closed his mouth and set his face in what he hoped was a neutral look and grabbed Cas's shoulders and turned him to the door, cas for his part almost being twisted off the earth as his uncoordinated feet stayed one direction despite his body being turned another " ok man, listen your going to have to come back when your sober"

cas looked up at dean "but I was only going to give you a backrub" "and maybe mutually explore the nature and wavelength of the color blue, do you like blue as a color, emotion, and visual construct?" " I was thinking of dynamic displays in geodetic geometry of arrays in shade and intensity for us to share" cas tried to sell dean on the idea as he was pushed out the door. Cas looked at the door, the bastard that was dean had indeed put angel sigils above his door on a previous occasion when cas had been invading deans dreams and dean wanted to know what was his dreams and what was dreams he had been sent.

Cas was sure the content of either was as varied, maybe he was concerned about frequency of type. Cas was worried he would activate them again. Cas swayed a bit in place "Sam thinks were having sex anyway" cas said to the door. The door unlocked and a genuinely pissed dean looked down at cas "so erase his mind again" cas didn't like being directed deans anger like this and felt a bit like a raw nerve in his drunken state, his lip trembled in spite of itself. " I told you if I do that too much he will get brain damage" cas whined a bit but heard himself and felt himself pull it back together " besides im conserving energy" cas set his eyes to a cold edge "just" cas air quotation "play it all off" "like you usually do" cas tired to spin and stomp off in a huff but something about being unused to walking or physical expression in general plus the whiskey left him flat on his face.

"dammit Cas" dean reached down to pick cas up and it seemed the angel had no bones and kept sliding back down the wall, hooking cas under the shoulders the angel drunkenly giggled "tickles" leaning his mostly boneless form against the wall dean feared a bit for his good name as cas drunkenly was swirling a finger against his chest and humming, unfocused eyes staring greedily through his chest. Dean rolled his eyes and fought the urge to smile and encourage this bad behavior.

Dean was the only thing keeping cas upright and dean was not entirely sure that was lost on the angel as there was definitely a angelic woodie pressed on his hip. Dean considered stepping back and letting the beast crumple for a moment. Before Sam potentially rounded a corner dean dragged Cas back into his room. Cas was bodily flopped onto deans bed and turned a bit green.

"angelically guided acid trip huh cas, I'll take the backrub but no thank you on a guided tour of the cosmos ala drunk driver" dean said fiddling with his computer for a better song to play. "don't want to get pulled over by the thought police while driving the wrong way down a idea" cas looked over at dean confusion flitting there on his face. Then a concern overtook his brow cas groaned

"How much alcohol does it take to make you vomit?" Cas indicated with his hands "this much?"

" don't you dare! And no, you aught to be ok its just you don't drink so your resistance is low"

" actually that's…, even if you went for the 40 in the fridge you aught to be ok"

cas felt like he might be sick, but then he clarified "no this much of a bottle of whisky" dean paled slightly and brought cas a trashcan.

"Sit up cas, hold this and if you feel it coming up hold the trashcan near your face to catch it." "don't miss or I swear cas" dean took in the slow computer processing crossing Cas's face and bit his lip as not to laugh.

Cas considered the trashcan in several dimensions where did plastic come from? Was that blood on that Kleenex in there? What caused nosebleeds? But then Cas's stomach overrode any passing thought but… "but I don't like being sick" cas leaned into a reassuring ruffle of his hair dean was giving him "my goodness mortality is just full of varied emissions" cas said and looked up at dean who took in the sheen of sweat that had suddenly appeared on Cas's forehead and though better of standing in front of him and sat beside him rubbing annoyingly geometrically inaccurate circles, at least to cas who at the moment was annoyed in general.

Cas tried to remember the last time he was really ill, but that had been a physical reaction of his vessel's stomach being filled with blood and himself being beaten. Then his grace fading had left him heaving and fevered recently. Then there was the hangover from when he had drunk so much as a fully charged angel. The thought that his sickness now would be added to by the hangover tomorrow sent Cas's stomach off. Dean flinched in sympathy.

Cas came to on deans bed not remembering passing out he considered the glow of dean on his laptop with his headphones on next to him, surfing the web. Cas reached up and took one of the ear buds a fuzzy stupid glow muddling his movement and his mind cas snuggled into the pillow and listened to what dean was listening too.

Not taking in the song cas thought this was good too, sharing. Cas drifted off into sleep again. Dean grinned and patted Cas's shoulder. "better luck next time Casanova" cas chirred like a happy dove in his sleep and dean felt a warmth pool in his chest. But then he started straight up snoring like a drunk man in his mid 30's and dean placed a hand over Cas's mouth and nose till he moved into a different position for want of oxygen. Dean had expected him to wake up, how low was his tolerance? Dean twirled a lock of the angels hair in affection while in thought and flicked the angels cheek in hope to stop the snoring again.

* * *

Sam knew he was drunk waay early in the day and had averted a hangover by spending the rest of it hydrating and relaxing. But he could not for the life of himself remember why he had chosen to dive in so hard. Sure life had been stressful but Sam was not useful that smashed, so why do it? But then on his way to his room he saw a tie hanging from the doorknob of deans room. A very familiar tie. Sure Sam knew they were up to weird anyway but Sam wondered why the blatant sexual nature all the sudden of it. Maybe mortality closing in had pushed them to finally let loose.

Still Sam recalled the morning conversation in disjoint, ew. Man, woman, or geriatric squirrel Sam did not want to hear his brothers sexual details. "cas, seriously eww" Sam headed off to his room.

As Sam passed Cas's baritone was heard in a tone that Sam had not ever heard before, weak.

" dean I think I'm going to faint"

deans voice was heard rumbling with annoyed panic "hey hold into that!… aw man…. if that got everywhere I'm not the one cleaning it up!"

Sam pursed his lips jaw twitching put his fingers in his ears and continued walking.


	4. cosmic eplilepsy

Ch4

Dean woke to a Cas drooling on his chest, a single earbud in deans ear hanging on for dear life in his ear playing Royal Blood-figure it out. Cas had a arm slung over deans hip and dean could die from the morning breath rolling off the monster why was his skin not burning? The angel currently drooling on his chest was giving not sign of waking soon, and dean slid off the bed the angels head landing on a pillow dean had put in his place and dean could not but help congratulate the years of stealthy one night stand escapes, that gave him the skill to do so.

Dean snuck off to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, there was a clammy slimy spot on his chest congealed against his shirt "urg" dean decided angel drool should be classified as a ectoplasm rather than a normal body fluid, as a string of it was going from his chest to his fingers.

Dean was fairly sure that was a abnormal quality of drool. "oh…oh the hell…" dean gagged had Cas barfed on him in his sleep? Dean shucked his shirt and scrubbed at his chest with the clean side. Dean gave a disgusted shudder and threw the shirt against the wall of the bathroom where it slid down slowly. "urg" dean gave a whole body shudder of disgust. Dean kicked off his socks and jeans, and underwear getting ready for a shower.

Dean looked down at Cas's outfit piled on the floor and with a quick confirmation the angel was still asleep threw on the shirt and the coat and appreciated in the mirror.

Dean had the appropriate amount of five o clock to pull it off in its wrinkly state he made the thing look good it fit his taller frame, dean though he needed some good sunglasses so he could quote the men in black line to cas who might now get it. "you know the difference between you and me… I make this look good" dean pondered in the mirror for a moment. dean grabbed the pants to throw in the laundry, and noticed the splotches on it.

"dude, really?" Dean considered for a moment several scenarios, implications, complications…

Dean smiled to himself "you dirty perv cas"

Dean considered for a moment for being genderless creatures once they were in possession of genitallia they sure embraced it. Dean flashed back to the back of his impala with a angel. Dean closed his eyes and smiled sideways at he memory. Dean picked up the rest of the dirty clothes noting that cas did not have underwear in this group. Was he wearing them still? Did he wear them? dreamscape rendezvous were in most part not clear on details as much as to be truly informative.

but then there was something else missing here deans eyes widened "the tie" dean rushed to the door opened it and grabbed the tie and held it in a angry accusing glare.

Sam was just minding his own business, maybe go out for a jog, maybe grab some breakfast. Maybe see his brother in Cas's shirt and trench, nothing else, and cas in deans clothes on the bed sprawled out in the background.

"aww man" Sam whined from the hallway across from dean. Dean for his part looked down at himself and then back at cas slung across his bed and closed his eyes a pained look on his face and backed into his room held a index finger up "not a word, not one fucking peep I swear Sam." he growled out and slammed the door on his brother.

Sam narrowed his eyes at the door and then stormed off to grab the impala keys and go out on the town "fuck this"

Dean smacked himself in a face palm and dragged his hand down his face.

Green eyes enclosed irises that spun down to pinpoints at a sleeping cas, then softened and spiraled back out. Dean fought the urge to flick off the sleeping form of cas

. Dean stomped to his bathroom and shucked Cas's clothes angrily.

Dean hopped in the shower cleaned and wanked because why the hell not he was already hard. Why disrupt his morning routine, structure was important to the strained mind, dean touched himself and thought of nothing.

In fact he forced himself to think of nothing, rather proud of himself at managing to wank free of thoughts about cas and admiring his self control it was broken when near orgasm dean thought about keeping the tie

. A brief breeze from his subconscious but it set off a array of naughty thoughts, that it was too late to turn the tide back, dean bit his lip in irritation and arousal.

Could dean get cas to whine again in several languages as he had in dreamscapes? Dean leaned against the shower wall catching his breath, he was back in the real world, a all encompassing relationship was a distraction. Cas deserved full attention. This was not a place of eternal inevitability, where he and cas could stay assured of each others company.

Dean got out of the shower and shaved half nervous cas would be behind him in the mirror when he popped up from rinsing. Dean goose footed to his dresser and closet to get clothes as if the stink of his dirty thoughts would wake the angel and he did not want to attract any further attention with noise.

Calming considerably from nervous or shame with each layer of clothes dean put on he felt on even keel again by the time he buttoned his jeans. Dean looked back at his bed and chewed his cheek a bit, caught between distress, warmth, and the urge to do something perverse.

But then the urge to do something perverse vanished as dean remembered the angel would be hungover and while waking his favorite creature with a low belly rub and a smile would be fun in theory dean suspected that the morning breath of doom was still being barely contained in Cas's face. Cas had bundled all his covers into a ball near his chest, and his face was hidden, a socked foot slung over the edge Cas was at diagonal on the bed. A occasional snore was heard. Cas thankfully had not tipped the trashcan when he dropped it dean skootched it away from the bed and set it and the laundry basket outside his door.

The beast Cas was certainly pushing lines lately, and the lines were there for reasons. Some of the things cas and dean had done in their spare time to fiddle with their bond was downright out there.

* * *

"dean" "I wish to learn something of you"

Dean who had his headphones Metallic's-enter sandman blaring in had somehow heard Cas's voice through them despite that, cool trick. But annoying. "sure man ask away" cas walked closer and sat by dean who had closed his eyes waiting for a question and enjoying the song and opened them as cas sat down and just in time to see Cas's hand descend on his knee. It was glowing. Both his knee and Cas's hand.

Dean could not move, though he wanted to, and he watched in freaked out fascination as his jeans…started to burn around Cas's hand.

Suddenly dean started twitching and he felt like he was freezing and that turned into a numb piercing pain then faded to warm to what felt like his flesh burning to pressure as if he was being crushed to slithering feeling under his skin to what could only be described as a full body orgasm to a feeling of electrocution to a feeling of joy to sadness to regret to comfortable to nervous to really really lightheaded and his vision started to fade a little.

It had all happened so sublimely that all dean could do was twitch and gurgle, a happy wet spreading on the front of his jeans and a tear ran out of his eye while his jaw clenched so tight even a hour later his face hurt, and he had bit his tongue"

Cas healed the slightly bleeding leg and the cloth around it smoked uselessly and set his hand on his chin considering. Dean tried to remember how his body was supposed to work while his synapses fired random pain and joy.

Cas was long gone with a "thank you dean that was very informative" before dean could talk again, and once he could dean called to cas with a string of profanity so long he ran out of breath and fell on his butt still twitching from whatever cas had done to him, and when Cas arrived confused…. dean set some more…carefully… detailed ground rules.

Days later while listening to music and driving the song had come on and his arm started to shake then his whole body gave a hissy fit then he moaned and twitched in pain and joy physical and mental and what felt like a seizure.

Dean pulled over after shutting the music off with frantic fervor… dean held his arms to his chest and tried to warm his suddenly cold arms deans whole body gave twitches and spasms and dean swallowed against a twitching in his gut. Sam for his part made a questioning huff… looking over at Sam dean could not resist a halted and ineffective chuckle at the comic look that met him from the passenger side. Sam was as far away on the passenger side door as possible and looked concerned for himself and dean "what the hell was that" the whites of his eyes showed and he had one hand on the knife in the dashboard shelf. dean opened and closed his mouth uselessly and got out of the car and positively yelled cas down from the heavens. "motherfucker! What the hell did you do to me cas!"

Sam looked frantic "shut up dean, why would you piss of something that did whatever that was!"…. "what the hell was that?!" Sam took in deans shaking arms holding him upright against the impala "are you ok?"

Dean locked eyes with Sam and something in them made Sam narrow them. "what did cas do to you" dean looked off to the side and turned his back on his brother and tried to hide the fact he was checking his pants to see if he had pissed or cummed himself because there was a wet getting cold.

"lovely" dean said under his breath

"feathery bastard!" dean saw Sam make to round the car to his side a look of brotherly concern

"uh dean do we need to go to a hospital or a exorcist or something?" dean ran to the opposite side of the car not wanting Sam to see the state of his pants, he would never hear the end of it either fluid it was.

"back off!" why couldn't this happen near some woods or something dean though as he surveyed his potential escape routs, nothing just flat grassland and sun. Sam set his face into a stern look

"dean stop being stubborn and tell me what is going on, your shaking and you look terrified. Just calm down ok." dean stayed on the opposite side of the car and yelled for cas again.

Dean tried to look reassuring to Sam " uh I'm ok now, just give me some space ok" deans face twitched nervously.

Sam had started around the car again dean dashed for the other side just as Sam got there "dude fuck off!" deans voice was a bit squeaky for his like Sam stood there kindove giving off waves of pissed and dean figured he had a second to actually pray for cas while princess over there got her tampon set right.

Dean was wrong as soon as he opened his eyes he was tackled by Sam who pinned his hands behind his back and tossed him on the hood. "if you dented the hood Sam I swe-" dean didn't finish his complaint he had heard handcuffs click on his wrists, dean shot up "fucking handcuffs really Sam?!" Sam flinched back slightly from the pissed off spit that was flying in his direction… then saw the wet on deans pants. After a long silence in which dean fought the lump of embarrassment in his throat helpless to cover it with his hands behind his back.

Sam asked "I hope that's piss" dean looked down and before he could even think the words escaped him "that's what I was hopeing too"

It was the first time that they had erased something from Sam's mind.

"You know dean people used to believe that epilepsy had its roots in the divine." Cas had said in comfort. "it was not my intention to cause you harm or embarrassment, Sam wont remember what happened in the last hour or so."

Dean would have punched the angel but he was genuinely a bit scared, though he kept his face neutral and nodded "oh…well then…*pfst*" Sam was slumped where he had stood laughing hysterically against the car at dean and cas while the angel had explained and dean had said shut up around 36 times to both of them. His head and face obscured at this angle by the bumper and dean leaned back to take in Sam's face to see if he had hit it on the way down, dean flinched and swallowed Sam's eyes were open, unfocused and unmoving.

"uhm is that normal" Cas leaned down a little " I think so, he should come to in a little I gave you time to change your pants, his hindbrain functions are still going heartbeat, metabolism. The rest is just waiting for a few minutes, he wont remember the last few hours.

Cas had basically made him twitch like a palsy patient anytime Enter sandman was on. It was some palovian response. He had liked the song and now if it was on the radio or on his tapes he had to skip it.

And even then the rules had to be restated again and again.

Cas while mentally insecure had been a fresh heck. Cas could enter deans dreams, and a crazy angel steering his mind through the cosmos of emotion and color… dean could now see why in the scenario where Cas fell and the world ended Cas being a hippyish drug addled adrenaline junky.

Deans favorite colors now had so many dimensions of complexity is was almost a distraction to the point Sam had noticed him staring one day at a dot on a advertisement that was just…the perfect shade of red brown… and smiling vaguely. "dean? You ok" dean had pulled himself back and continued walking down the street with Sam. that one game of twister he was forced to play in the dream world was actually fun. But chess in the dream world was just as boring as real life, at least in real life if you wanted to say so you could voice your opinion but in the dreamscapes cas had created then he had made it so dean could not speak.

Dean was certain he would never be able to drugs of any sort without severe disappointment after crazy Cas's cosmic adventures. Dean knew what Europa looked like from first person in shared memory projection ala Cas.

Dean was uncertain whether dream or act of Cas that he found himself as a bird for a whole day, he thought it was a dream because a cat had exploded nearby, and he had never seen a array of symbols like he had seen on the ground before or since…but it felt so real. Dean was unsure he wanted to know and had never asked… but now he was of the opinion crows were awesome birds, having maybe been one. Somehow dean was sure he had a threesome with the underlying nature of the earth, Cas and himself.

But then again making love to a net concept construction visualised by a angel... mostly undefined by anything but energy exchange…himself ethereal as well in the dreaming… was too weird to remember.

* * *

Sure some of the lines in the sand were to keep deans sensibilities, a admittedly thin veil, but enough for dean.

"dean do you consider conviction to be a concept or a emotion." dean looked up terrified of cas popping in out of nowhere while he was just settling into a dirty mag. "uhm", dean placed a pillow conveniently and tossed the mag at diagonal across the room behind himself "what now?"

dean had tried to consider or look like he was considering the question, when he was considering that he was lucky cas hadn't shown up 3 minutes later. Cas had walked up to dean and was dissecting the air above his head with his eyes. Dean swore he could feel cas sorting files in his head and could not do anything but try to lean back out of range, "gah! Personal space!" cas smiled in his way and with a flutter of wings left. Dean huffed a few times convinced the angel knew what he was doing there. "cas! Ground rules!"

* * *

Rules were important damnit. Dean nodded to himself.


	5. reflecting on

Ch 5

Dean checked his message in the phone from Sam ; hey I took the impala, im gonna be out, don't wait up. Seems like you and Cas need some 'bonding time' don't want to be in the way. Glad to see you relaxing some.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a headache coming on. The angel in his bathroom was actually whining in several languages between heaves.

"tantaeque est…" *gag* "minua gualo exio" *gasp* *splash* "Jeg spiser…. ikke så mye" *gag* "uh" "no more" *splash* *wimper* "warum ist das brennende…. Schmerzen" Cas could be heard making a humming whine.

Dean laughed dryly "so relaxed" Dean said

actually a little relived to have this kind of humorous distraction in afterthought

"hey Cas want breakfast" dean said after there was a long silence from the bathroom with a grin

Cas grimaced soulfully turning back in for another round at the thought of food

Several dry heaves were heard "mi animi…. est ex mi ora mox…dean… fuck you"

"in your dreams buddy" dean said

his grin fell off his face taking in the angel sigils there above his door and remembering some of his dreams a blush crept to his ears.

Dean was flitting around a world of small bubbles round and quivering each one a memory or emotion somewhere in the distance a young dean was blowing air into a bubble wand loosing more memories and emotions, one drifted nearby, a small girl who had walked up to him in one of his high school days and kissed him on a dare.

Another drifted right in his face and popped a voice of bobby saying something gravely and lovingly condescending, a half remembered sentence that flowed across deans conseousness as more the emotion than the words.

Dean reached out and held a bubble in his hand a memory of a quiet moment as grown men chasing Sam around playing tag.

Cas stood off in the distance watching bubbles float past and taking in the memories of dean as well. Dean had let him be, along for the ride in dreamland but not interfering. Cas would sometimes just hang out in deans dreams.

Dean flashed with a passing whim to Cas and poked him "tag" and fled to another dreamscape dean hung in a darkness and it had occasional solid form, dean hid behind one.

Cas did not fallow the sudden change in dreamscape but hung in the distance in a small spotlight confused. Dean ran to cas a dream induced loss of inhibition dean passed by cas again immaterial and giggling "chase me" was conveyed in not so much words as giddy emotion.

Cas with efficiency popped up next to dean who reflected the idea and popped up miles away a small spotlight on him in the distance, cas gave chase. Dean split himself into several deans which ran in every direction and cas was at a loss to follow them all. Grabbing a toddler dean who ran on stubby legs nearby it squeed and in a smokey dissipation disappeared under Cas's hand.

Dean condensed himself into one and grabbed the angel around the waist "tag, no tagbacks" then giddy and ethereal dean swirled as a joy around cas who smiled a little at the swirl of dean separated from self and construct in the free world of dreaming. Suddenly dean solidified and the dreamscape turned into a front yard of a house.

Cas had supposed dean was aware of cas and the dreaming, a more keen reality had formed and clearly defined dean looked at cas piercingly. Cas nervously wondered if dean would be pissed and yell at cas for witnessing a dream like this. Dean stepped closer "um, can I see your wings?" dean fidgeted a little childishly "because I won" cas took back his previous summation, maybe dean was still dreaming deeply. Cas looked a bit taken aback, but then with a intense look at the dreams constructed ground unfurled them, why not cas had thought.

He had seen dean laid bear in this dreaming. "ooh, cool" dean said in a voice too young for the face he was projecting of himself and wandered off as the dreamscape losing detail and form a swirl of green and blue in a foggy mist of a universe swaying curls of color brushed by Cas's still exposed wings deans couscous lended itself into the colors and vague form swirling through Cas's feathers cas heard a boyish giggle and recognized it as a young deans voice. cas spread his wings out farther for the joyful play of deans subconseous rolling through them and swirling around him.

A thrill of goose bumps raised on cas, and deans conseousness was aware of them as case's wing feathers poofed out raised as well as the hairs on his arms and neck. A knowing giggle near his ear perhaps a teenage dean while a childish squeal of another part of the dean admiring a pinkie toe, a chorus of giggling as various voices and tones given form rushed through the now more available space between feather shafts and skin. This was overwhelming and immersive.

Cas closed his eyes and sighed the dreamscape changed again but cas did not notice until the vague swirl had condensed into fingers carding through his wings a head on Cas's shoulder. Dean had turned his head to Cas's ear and whispered as if divulging a world shaking secret "I feel happy" dean laughed and the sound that came out was of a young child.

Dean then had turned into a young child in his dreamscape and with small hands pushed Cas's leg "tag" and ran off. Cas smiled vaguely, took a few calming breaths and gave chase.

Their games of dreamland tag had varied themes from chasing each other through concepts, color, remembered landscapes, to chasing each other through acts of sex and joy, a recurring thread but that one was so sickly sweet it had been stuck in deans brain almost as much as the first sexual one that he knew for sure cas was in because he had asked in the real world a few days later.

Dean was running through a field of wheat caught alternately between running with a heard of deer and chasing them, a golden antlered buck surrounded in a haze of light turned to him and made a ghostly noise like a elk and dean whistled back a echo of the noise and ran with it into a lake where it melted into the water and warmed it and tinted it a light red. Dean floated content and dove under and chased a busty mermaid that flitted by when he came up for air ready to dive in again he heard a familiar gravely voice "dean" and sure enough cas was in a boat just beside him.

A fishing pole hang lazily beside and dean looked down to see he was holding a bobber, picking the line up he saw the bait was a small plastic cheeseburger the weight a small replica of fries.

"really cas"

dean climbed into the boat tempted to dump cas into his dreams water but the boat did not rock.

"I have weird enough dreams cas". dean lie in the bottom of the boat and put his head at the angels shoes comfortable and a little bit glad to have the company. The busty mermaid had swam up and leaned into the boat dean reached out a hand and fiddled with her nipple lazily.

"cas I think this is a particularly happy dream though, maybe come back tomorrow?" "did you need something?" cas considered dean at his feet, "I like your happy dreams dean" dean looked up at the open honesty in the angels face.

Dean didn't think the angel got subtly ever. as if to drive the point home the mermaid had grabbed a hold of deans manhood and cooed. Dean wasn't aware he was naked and looked up at cas slightly apologetic but when he suspected he might see cas looking at him with disapproval cas was watching the mermaid play with him.

"hey!" dean blushed then squirmed "ah! Nuh" Dean blushed deeper and made to move the mermaids hand away grabbing one hand the mermaid set to work with the other and dean could not grab a hold of both her hands with his as fast as she was switching one to another. "ah nuh, dammit! Uh… for the love of…" dean blushed and gave up instead slapped her boobs in irritation. She didn't stop. "uh… ah!"

with a gasp dean woke up. Deans confusion was lost in a moan as his body betrayed him and he came. Wet dream or cas…both… dean caught between one emotion and the next looked down at himself "aw man".

* * *

Cas was still in his room, dean did not push the current patron angel of hangover out. But it still irritated him. But then Cas had flopped sadly on his bed and buried his face in the pillow and whined that he wasn't able to move anymore without ' the universe spinning painfully and trying to crush his scull from the inside and rip his intestines out his mouth.' dean had assured him he was a wuss and would live. Cas had muttered in enochian for a while after that, and dean backed out his room hair on the back of his neck rising.

Later in the kitchen Dean flipped through his contacts and hovered over Crowley's number, then closed it and set it aside. Deans bowl of cereal was getting soggy, he couldn't bring himself to eat it.

Dean mixed up a hangover cure for Cas and dropped it off by his room where the angel was in a mist of some internal struggling that was painful to look at straight on, his hair stuck up at odd angles and his bottom lip trembling between nausea and pain. dean cleaned up the room while Cas shakily spun in the waves of pain and regret that only worsened to a cringe when he took in the flowers by the bed a red creeping in his cheeks and a slightly horrified space between lips. "no…"

Dean had left by the time Cas could pull together a cogent thought waking up and looking to a clean room gone of dean. Cas snuck off to his own room the lighting in the bunker was just gaudy cas decided cringing from every bulb he passed and when he got to his room he gave the bed a grateful hug and passed out, when Cas got up to take a shower and after brushing his teeth caught sight of himself in the mirror, he still had on deans clothes.

The toothbrush hung at careless angle and Cas was as embarrassed of the realization arousing him as much as… actually watching himself blush in the mirror. Cas looked away from himself not really wanting to look himself in the eye. He took the shirt off but he found himself hard and pressed against the jeans when he went to take them off. Once again looking up to the mirror he took in the blush and looked away.

Cas looked at the shirt on the floor for a long moment "carpe diem" he shrugged.

Cas grabbed the shirt and put it back on, looking at himself in the mirror he touched himself through the jeans and imagined touching dean in them through them in the same way, a whimper of needy on his lips he put his hand in them and rubbed himself.

Cas closed his eyes against his own reflection and ran a shaking hand through his hair to grab a hold of it and imagine dean pulling it back "nuh" Cas cried out and his knees gave out and he fell back against the door and slid down into a embarrassed and puffing pile, he got up and leaned over the sink stroking himself he put a hand to the mirror to steady himself and looked down at himself imagining dean touching himself in this way as he came in surprise his breath in hurried puffs punctuated by small mewls, the mirror broke and rained down.

After gaining his breath back Cas took in the various messes and decided to go for the mirror shards first, liking the idea of him dirtying deans jeans like this. Cas berated himself slightly he was turning human again not into a beast, but the self dialog did not stick and he smiled despite himself.

Did humans go through estrus? No, dean would say he needed to get laid. Cas understood hedonism as a desire.

Maybe it was for the best Cas paled in fear, had he chosen a female vessel he would have not had as much resistance from dean and would have created a niphilium by now or three.

But this was a dialogue he had had with himself in the past, dean was not a white picket fence and pinfeathers type of guy anyway Cas was unsure how their relationship might have been inversed, body before soul? Dean could have physical relations with anyone he belonged to Cas in a way that no other thing could touch on. But Cas wondered as he plucked another shard from the sink and dropped it in the trashcan why he was pushing the boundaries more than ever. He caught his chapped lips reflected in the shard of mirror.

Ah he was going to die, no dreamscape rendezvous, no touching deans soul from across the room. No he would find himself mortal and unconnected the best thing would be a echo of touch with no power other than physical desperation, and memory of more.

Maybe the connection the bond within them would be the last thing to go before his ears were shut off to the universe and all else but his breathing in and out and the singular quiet of a lifetime in ones own head apart from all else and reaching for more. He wanted to know that he could hold dean and remember holding his soul if even no longer feel it. The shard broke in his hand cutting him a little.

Cas could understand now a little the way Lucifer had been tempted to by force or by accident twist the souls of the first demons.

Cas worried for a moment how much he had accidentally brushed against deans soul to poke it to its eventual curl, was he hurting the man by interaction alone? But cas was not selfish like his bound brother.

dean was his charge, cas had to stay strong... But what of when he was no longer a angel but a dieing man?

Cas looked down, there was still glass to clean up, but he wanted to go back to bed just now. Cas tunneled into his bed and his ribs were shaking against his lungs and he was unsure why he could not stop. Sure cas had been bummed before but this, this felt painful. Cas found he could not breath all the sudden.


	6. Deanmon and Crowley

Crowley smiled to himself sure the angel was weak but he had not expected the hex bag to actually work on him.

But this was pathetic the angel not close enough to human to cry but darn he was trying gasping and whining into the pillow.

Crowley took in the hand curled into a claw grip into the sheets and tilted his head. This was nearly sexual in its passion Crowley thought to himself.

But however Crowley much might enjoy learning and a little mischief he had just been a bit tiffy at dean being home and comfy after what they had gone through together, even the slight of him giving the angel the blade had been almost forgiven in the sheer numbers of it seeming intelligent.

Crowley was the one to pull the tablet from this angels chest, and highly suspected if he really wanted the blade all he would have to do is reach right into the angels chest and rip it out, Crowley doubted the creativity of the angel. Though he appreciated appraisingly at the moment deans still unzipped pants had slid lower in the angels squirming, the angels ass exposed as he sobbed under the covers somewhere Cas flipped around and Crowley got a eyeful of the angels floppy bits.

Crowley's eye brow arched appreciatively, who knew, the angel flipped back to ass skyward and Crowley took a step forward of his subconseous's accord and frowned at himself being provoked like this.

Crowley just out of the dimension of physical he had been still able to enter the bunker, like some kind of right once invited in he could come and go as he pleased. And Cas seemed not to be able to see him, he had spit in the angels cereal and Castile had ate it

Crowley did not have the affection for the angel to say he would miss him withering away but the now twitching and gasping thing squirming there in its bed had the keen ability to wrangle dean from becoming a thorn in his side again, and he would take dean out if it came to it or try and fail. Which honestly Crowley suspected anyone he sent on that mission himself would, Deanmon was just that skilled and hungry. While a powerful ally against a similar cause the creature dean was like a badly trained hellhound.

Crowley reached a hand out inspired by the angels naivety and ran a finger along Cas's shaking ribs, the t-shirt separating his skin from Cas's Crowley lost in the tilt of danger let his finger trail so lightly taking in the sobbing skin and trailed a finger to the bare skin of the angels butt Crowley resisted the passing thought to slap the angels butt as hard as he could and flash out of the bunker with a mad laugh lingering. Instead Crowley pulled a cover away from a bleeding palm of the angels clutching a sheet a fresh stain a surprised red against white Crowley ran a finger against the bloody hand oh so gently as not to be noticed and pulled a finger full of red to his lips savoring.

Crowley weighted his options if dean found out he was eeking his jollies out at their expense he would have trouble either way, good dean or bad. But he did like the effect of panic and desperation that was being displayed here. He had been amused to giggling fits by a drunken angel wanking it in the sun. Crowley wondered if he left the bags here and in deans room would cas start flashing people as he already had the trench coat for it, and what would a panicky desperate dean do?

Now that he had been surprised was not go out and kill somehow like Crowley had wanted so the mark would be fed and dean remain stable. Desperate dean had hid in his angels room, but maybe it took longer for full effect. Crowley was not a master of these things.

So his joy was not worth the danger he weighed. He had learned nothing much new the angels and deans homoerotic bromance was obvious to all lookers on. Even more so what he had learned of demon deans particularly loose definition of bromance.

* * *

"dude ok so I would be summoned by a mint impala, one blond, one brunette, a redhead, and a gallon of horse blood cut half with Jamison's" dean drunkenly encompassed to air and looked at Crowley expectantly a unspoken make it so hung in the air. Crowley was almost bummed out that deans expectations of Crowley… that were so consistently lofty as 'change the universe just a little for me" but then a little flattering because dean believed that Crowley had these powers.

"dean you know I appreciate your input into the suggestion box but that's not really how that works" Crowley leaned in and indicated the mostly blank tabletop, burning addendum to the graph already burnt there with his fingertip he visualized the concept "a summon goes through and unless specified to a individual by name or personal object or some other various things it goes to like a call center and the next available demon of appropriate rank is sent."

"intention has a lot to do with the nature of spells. For example burning some flowers with others creates one spell and incantations create another. A madman muttering spaced out doesn't a spell make…Imagine if passive happenstance created spells. It rarely does. Every forest fire would result in 30 odd things getting summoned showing up disappointed the show is obviously already over.

The energy of a soul and conseous helps, in Santeria the animal is offered as a plea to power or the herbs and fruit in other beliefs…but the conseous intent fuels it." "throw a banana peel underfoot someone may slip, paste it to the underside of someone's shoe they will, it falls from a tree in brazil and worms eat it. Intent, energy sacrificed in one form or another and the right set of circumstances"

Crowley swirled his drink thoughtfully, "even then it is so much easier to destroy than create that things can get out of hand" Crowley was obviously lost in pained memory, but then perked up "though I imagine you could be specifically summoned by your impala and the screams of your ex boy toy Cas." Crowley set his empty glass down and dean growled low his thrumming was lower than human but then he straightened and took another shot in the lineup and slammed a hand on Crowley's back a bit harder than necessary "hey were here for now, lets live it up" dean went for another shot but paused halfway and set it down his whole face lit up and his eyes went black and he turned to Crowley with conspiracy "can I possess people?"

Crowley raised a eyebrow " I don't know, you are unique among demon kind but we could try."

Dean threw some money down on the table and got his jacket while Crowley looked put out he was just getting a buzz "now, like right now?" dean leaned in while putting on his coat a shiteating grin on his face eyes black again "hell yes"

Dean looked like he was trying to have a seizure in front of the tied up girl long broken by possession a easy learning tool. Crowley had hid his chuckles while watching dean try to depart from his body and continued giving him entirely inaccurate advise. " no, no dean you've got to think of newborn bunnies it helps differentiate your darkness from the vessels physical mind" dean was beginning to suspect Crowley was just messing with him… and the girl hung there hands tied up dead eyes taking dean in boredly and just a little bit coldly dean walked to her and decided just did what he wanted to anyway which was ravish the girl cruelly and bloodily, but also free her broken soul from repossession.

Dean knew he was torn between his ideals and his want to learn this new life. He needed time to learn how to ride that edge now that he was on the darker side of the equation.

dean leaned in and forced his face against hers, she tries to bite his lip off and dean laughed bleeding lip hanging and he went in for more, grabbing her chest. "dean were having a lesson here" dean didn't stop what he was doing just held up his middle finger. Crowley bristled then straightened his shirt empirically "here let me instruct you better by having your attention" Crowley left his body fall limp hanging in red tinged arch of smoke to the girl dean saw the smoke that was Crowley and growled animally at it and held the girls mouth and nose closed to keep Crowley from getting in her "fuck off!"

dean spat his blood at the smoke. The girl rolled her eyes at dean making him angrier. Crowley for his part circled waiting dean was going to kill the girl she was running out of oxygen, which would make for a poor learning material for possession as the soul must be contended with, even if weak. dead bodies took a more nuanced and talented demon with experiance. Crowley chose a less convenient entrance into her than her face. And looked back at dean with pupil less red eyes. Dean hissed and backed up a few steps

" as I was saying" dean stomped over to kicked Crowley's limp body lying on the street a few times while looking at Crowley as he was now. Dan tilted his head and lifted up Crowley's face with his foot it blinked, was Crowley's vessel soulless? Dean wiggled his foot against a chubby cheek and the body remained limply lying against his foot.

Dean walked up to Crowley as he was now and punched him and continued his ravishing of the body. Crowley was making it easier to kill her, the demon of him wanted her flesh torn "whoa cowboy king of hell here" Cowley said coming back to consciousness. dean bit her neck and drank of the rivulet and spat a mouthful at Crowley. Dean started quoting a exorcism to Crowley but then turned pale and his whole body gave a shake. Crowley smiled " ah is that effecting you too? I'm sure I will hold out longer than you if you can continue the rite but who knows what it will do to you, probibly make you feel like shit, it will merely displace me"

dean gave a inhuman roar in Crowley's face then ran his tongue against his teeth slowly as if encasing there intention. Dean stepped back and took his phone from his pocket. Crowley raise a eyebrow that felt in different proportion to his usual flesh "who could you possibly be calling? Dean held up his finger his eyes flickering between black and normal as he scrolled down his screen "mood music"

South of Heaven by Slayer started playing. Crowley raised a eyebrow "really dean"

"leave or stay for the ride im not stopping either way, I don't take orders from you… not yet" dean ripped the shirt and bit into the flesh of breast taking a chunk in his teeth and swallowing it he undid the unnecessarily brightly colored belt and ripped off her undies. His eyes were closed and he leaned in a shaky panting and a sure sinking of his teeth into the shoulder "you might want to brace yourself"

dean pulled the girls hair back and growled eyes still closed and raked a hand down her back to grab her ass crushingly. Crowley along for the ride spit in deans face to provoke him. It worked. Dean growled and dug his fingers into the flesh of the girls ribs breaking through skin and feeling on fingertips the space between slick lung and flesh the bone giving him purchase to wrap his fingers around and he pushed himself into the thighs cruelly and started pumping in and out holding the bones.

Deans fingers hurt with the use of unnatural strength on flesh otherwise unused to administering it. dean reached down and bit a nipple off, and suckled of the blood swallowing both as his breath quickened. Crowley smiled between screams, but then deans eyes were closed. Dean felt himself too excited and slowed his pace and withdrew his fingers from her ribs and pulled a chunk of her hair out a angry scream rushed up to his ears and dean smiled, dean rested his chin against the shoulder and bit another hole next to the one already there and began actually eating the shoulder going in and out of her as he gnawed happily at the flesh the screaming in his ear hurting his ear. Dean felt close and drew his hand to his pocket and took pictures on one of his phones by way of distraction, he could not bring himself to open his eyes but smiled at the string of curses coming out of Crowley.

Dean dropped the phone and felt along the ribs till he felt a hole he had dug there and sank his whole hand through the opening pushing his hand into the flesh deans wrist caught from going further between ribs. dean felt the heart pumping on his fingertips. Dean pulled out of her so as not to cum dean panted for a moment shaking. dean fondled the broken hole at the girls brest and smiled at the slippery texture, his fingers still aganst the beating heart the girls lungs filled for another scream and dean felt that this scream was different Crowley was trying to leave and dean smiled to himself and grabbed the breasts and squeezed. Dean said a exorcism backward and then heard a string of high pitched cursing and licked the girls face.

"im not done yet" dean shoved himself back into the girl and pulled his hand away from her heart both hands going to the gashes he had left with his fingers he once again used them for leverage and pumped into her through his orgasm even to his softening dean opened his eyes and watched the flesh rip away as he pulled it from her bones and sank his hads into her intestines to pull them free. One of deans fingers had dislocated by way of untalented brute force wielded without care, but that was not what dean was focusing on. dean knelled down to pull away the diaphragm in desperate quickness he tore a lung away to see his prize, the heart beating there and all sound in his ears was just a ringing as he watched with a litle bit of awe and envy the heart stop beating surely and twitch ineffectively.

Crowley finally left the girl and dean reached up a shaking hand to pull the heart from her dead chest dean had a loop of intestine over his shoulder and he closed his eyes against the gore and bit into the heart the texture and meaning more than the gore of the act and dean didn't understand but could not stop till he remembered that a part of him wanted to ease the soul of the girl.

Dean took her heart into himself and coming down from the high hoped that her strength would embue him somehow, bring him back to himself. Dean licked his fingers and sucked them dry his lip healing was sore and he smiled for the girl whos soul was broken but the fight was still there, a whistfull shaking started in his chest. Could demons cry? Crowley dean noted Crowley was touching himself through his pants at the sight of dean eating the girls heart. Dean rolled his eyes, shook his emotional turmoil, and got up. Crowley had a tune on his lips and a sour mooded dean picked bits of intestine out of his hair.

"well that escalated quickly" Crowley stated in a bedroom voice happy dean just did not know until it was too late just how much Crowley liked that kind of rough treatment in his off time. Dean had even done that exorcism verse backward to push Crowley back into what was left of the flesh the one time he did start to feel a bit squirmy. Crowley had told him at one point in the past he liked violence but thought he was bluffing, Crowley smiled to himself.

"get bent Crowley" dean needed a shower. Dean's eyebrow twitched then he smiled winningly through the blood and sludge " hey next time a redhead?" dean slid the dark onto his eyes slowly.

* * *

Then dean had kept having sex in his hotel room offering in 'joke' that Crowley just possess whatever bitch he brought home. At some point it just got annoying.

Crowley enjoyed being a man…something about being a demon in the first place for a little extra length will do that to a guy. And though dean was fun in his very vanilla sex way, [by Crowley's standard] taking him on the offer a few times… Crowley just didn't get the gusto from dean like the first time fraught in blood and spray, Alastair's training had gone to seed in the space between demonic want and the righteous tint even in deans changed soul. It wasn't worth the sex change when there wasn't the passion there.

Crowley know it was the human blood talking but the third time had been the last when dean had been playing his headphones letting Crowley cut his chest and ride him as a slightly Amazonian looking woman with dark skin, a girl he had brought home from a strip club, Crowley had plucked the earphone out at heard "John Newman - Love Me Again" while sharing the earphone he realized where deans mind was and that dean never looked at him while they were doing this, Crowley was a main course not a side dish!

Crowley had slapped dean hard enough to almost break one of the fingers of the girl he was possessing, dean smiled and wiggled his hips "whooo! You go girl!" his eyes were dead, and Crowley cursed himself but damn that was hot the dead opening of those broken green eyes, mere functionary features. Crowle's newly owned girly bits twitched happily and Crowley drilled the knife through a bone of deans rib, angry but intrigued.

Dean closed his eyes again and cried out. The smaller cuts were healing and Crowley left the skin heal over the knife sticking out of deans chest, the bone attempting to knit around it. Deans leg was giving a shake and he had began to pant. Crowley rolled his borrowed hips and grabbed the hilt of the knife, dean shook and was starting to give all signs of a man on edge.

Crowley called to dean his name to see him open a eye in question. Crowley ripped the knife out of the bone and flesh to see deans eyes widen and his cry of surprise turned to panicked abandon as Crowley had slammed down his hips hard onto dean and could feel dean pulsing through orgasm. Crowley smiled at the lost sort of look he was getting drinking it in. Crowley gets what he wants, and if he wanted eye contact he would get it if it meant pinning deans eyes open.

Crowley had cheered him a bit watching fight club on T.V. later, the blood in his system making him downright motherly, that or the woman he was wearing effecting him, at least that's what he kept telling himself… later him and dean had taken over a strip club by Crowley possessing the owner and they picked the music the strippers danced to and what they wore.

Crowley highly suspected dean had no clue what went into these sort of acts of 'howling at the moon'. The man Crowley possed Crowley had locked in some part of himself distracted as Crowley had put a gold coin of worth in the mans office desk the mans very soul was a fight untill Crowley had reassured the man and his subconscious that yes paying his employees overtime and letting them keep their full tips was covered financially. The coin was worth a lot, Crowley had let the man be conscious of it rolling through his fingers and when the man would come to tomorrow all he would remember was that a well off man had paid him in a antiquity coin and that he had gotten incredibly drunk in the party that ensued, details would be bury.

Crowley sat in a booth in the backroom, a easly washed black lether his borrowed mind informed him. Crowley threw a arm around his former body. It was motionless and staring he and dean had dragged the thing in on pretence that the man was drunk as hell already and the rest of them were just catching up. Deans idea, Crowley rubbed his shells shoulder considering various things he could do. Should he give his body a back rub so the tension around his shoulders would be gone when he went back in? was it neat he had his own back? Maybe he could literally fuck himself over.

What to do with this weirdness dean had pushed on him? Crowley had baught his empty of himself body a lap dance and watched swallowing giggles as a woman was trying to illicit a response from the thing. She lterally had her boobs pressed to his former face. She looked irritated for a second and trned around and sat in crowleys ex lap and spun her hips. Crowley snaked a point of energy down the arm and the body grabbed her ass, surprising her.

Crowley wearing the manager reached over and tucked a 20 in her tiny outfit. A wry smile dancing there. Crowley was informed in a wisper by another stripper that "becky called out" and Crowley shifted through his borrowed mind "call davis and see if he can fill in" the stripper looked confused for a moment. "but…ladies night is Thursday" Crowley raised his brow, leaning in to whisper "but my rich friend here bats for both teams" Crowley answered. The stripper eyed dean in the background a handfull of boob from the girl giggling in his lap. A dark thought was passing her mind and it was obvious as she smiled to herself "oh, ok" Crowley leaned in "when he gets here tell him to talk to me, I have a idea. Tell him im going to pay him double today." the stripper looked concerned for a moment then a bit jealous but walked off on her errand.

Crowley was a happy man to see dean enjoying a lap dance from one girl while the body he had possessed all day now belonging to its owner dancing to Magdalena by a perfect circle in devil horn headband and tail.

Her robust tone body was just beautiful, her lips full and her face strong but feminine her neck was just long enough to be inciting as she turned to the music, lick and bite here there is space for it her neck said of itself as she ran a hand past it. Her shoulders muscled and her fingers long swept past a breast and the breasts themselves were large and the areola a thick up-slope to a dainty nipple.

Her other hand snaked across her belly, dancing as a job had given her a slight definition of muscle underneath the smooth dark skin, the skin itself a red brown she had a small patch of freckles on just one hip that Crowley found distracting, the shell of it holding the speckles to the lighting's color change. The girl turned mouth open and eyes closed hands touching her body in the turn a graceful and provocative swirl she faced away from the both of them and rolled her back.

Her dainty well muscled back rolling her hips to a obscenely gifted butt. The heart shape bounced slowly and dean was herd to make a "hell yes!" in approval. Crowley's ears caught a growl of lust from him, still in human range, the girl in his lap got up and left gracefully obviously no longer the center of attention. She gave Crowley a sour look, Crowley used his temporary position as manager to shrug and made a motion for her to get drinks.

When Crowley turned back dean had a lap full of the woman. She had her arms around deans neck and dean had her underwear in his teeth. When had that happened. The woman looked at Crowley and rolled her body against dean her legs opening at the end of the roll facing Crowley. She swirled her hips around and threw her head back dean leaned into her neck and licked it. She was mimicking being fucked while dean was licking her neck. A enticing invitation in her splayed legs Crowley was torn.

What to do, was she for real, he was wearing the manager was this a thing? Crowley searched his possessions mind. If that was for show it was one thing if it was a honest proposition it was another, and while Crowley could do it anyway the necessity to sweep the incident under the rug was it worth the effort? Crowley swallowed. Somewhere in his head Crowley manager in holding was rallied to irritation something about dean doing too much touching. Crowley came back to himself to find dean had his hand inside of her. deans arm laid across her belly the tension in her form and the dancing had blended into a actual mimicry of sex, her legs twitching. Crowley raised a brow, ah maybe this is how dean brought her home in the first place. She was making some quite beautiful noises and her hips jerked a wet dripped from her.

Crowley found himself appreciating the world a bit, palming a dick that wasn't his though he owned it currently he forced himself to look away. A moment later Dean laughed knowingly and caught Crowley's eye, dean licked his fingers and put them in his mouth sucking them dry while maintaining eye contact. Dean then ran his tongue on his teeth and looked at Crowley across the space grinning knowingly. Crowley looked in false unconcern a his drink tipping it at dean and drinking it. Crowley crossed his leg and patted his empty vessels back and looked at a wall away from dean for a moment lost in a aquard effort to calm himself.

Crowley excused himself to set up his own vengeance. Slightly unhappy it was retaliatory rather than original as he had planned, but great minds think alike. leaving dean to his fun, Crowley kept a ear on the room while he had a stripper throw on deans jacket that Crowley had grabbed from the room while dean was sufficiently distracted, watching dean screw the woman he had recently possessed while fun was giving him a genuine ache in his groin.

The man he possessed was not going to go for it and while Crowley could force it the smoothness of the man just thinking he had been incredibly drunk the next day rather than possessed was a close skate to what the man would actually do anyway. If he pushed the issue the necessary cover up and shushing was not worth the effort. Discretion ruled today, as most days.

Crowley sent in a bottle of something nice to the room where dean was, grabbing a shot glass Crowley drooped a small amount of liquid in the glass from a vial and swirled it while no one was looking. Something to sedate dean a bit while Crowley orchestrated. Being not by the Deanmon to babysit concerned Crowley.

Deftones knife party started playing in the room and three girls were dancing for dean. Crowley sat down in the room again and tried to contain a shiteating grin as dean was just as distracted as Crowley wanted he waved his dancer into the room, a man dressed in deans jacket and nothing else surreptitiously slid in and danced in front of Crowley.

The girls who had deans attention stopped mid motion and left, as Crowley had wanted them to. It had been a talented orchestration of getting dean the right amount of drunk, sedated, and distracted to sneak the man into the room while deans attention was diverted. deans eyes had hardened taking in the man grinding on Crowley's lap, Crowley was appreciating the haircut he had given the guy in the backroom. Just like deans Crowley thought the touch was worth the extra 60$ he had given the guy for it.

Crowley ran his hand through it and pulled the man to his chest and leaned into nuzzle the mans neck looking at dean. Deans eyes turned black and he shot up, waves of pissed rolling off him. But by now the sedative was in his system and he uselessly flopped back down, eyes going back.

Crowley had with inhuman speed covered the strippers eyes so he would not be able to see deans. The man had taken Crowley pinkie into his mouth and rolled his hips legs apart. Deans eyes piercing at Crowley took in his surprised reaction to the unexpected move his pinkie still in the strippers mouth a slight tremble in the hand… dean's eyes softened then he threw his head back and laughed.

* * *

Crowley leaned over the angel and withdrew the hex bag from its place taped to the underside of the first drawer of the nightstand. The thrashing Cas was too caught up in his own desperate need for a emotional outlet that he was starting to scream into the mattress. Crowley blood lingering in him found a twinge of pity which was quickly smothered by a sense of disgust for having it. How long until the angel was actually capable of tears? Crowley wondered.


	7. Tag your it

Tag

Cas found himself feeling a bit better flipping through a book in the library, the last unicorn. And found the quote he wanted to read for himself.- I'm a little afraid to go home. I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am no longer like the others, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but now I do. I regret.- Cas sighed and placed the book on the shelf. At least Meditrons info was accurate.

Would he ever even be a angel again even once he had his energy back, did he ever want to be what he once was as he once was. Was he ever going to be the same after these on and off again tangents of complexity.

Cas fixed himself some breakfast and checked his account on Sam's computer, maybe he could go get some groceries and some new clothes later, at least some new socks and underwear.

Cas rifled around in the spell ingredients section of the men of letters and labeled and straightened the things there, making a list of stuff to get refills on. Once he got his grace back he would refill and enrich the men of letters stock. Because cas seriously doubted his ability to be as bored as he was going to go away.

Cas had been carefully avoiding dean, but still had on deans clothes. Cas had been skittering past the halls just ahead of deans search for him for hours now ears straining for footsteps. A casual observer may have said the angel moved with all the contained shame of a cat in avoidance of a dog. A air of pretend dignity forced into his quick steps out of the library when he heard dean walk down a hallway nearby.

He just felt like keeping them on, the clothes. Also Cas did not want to deal with the brand of weird and aquard of last night, why was dean trying to find him wasn't their whole .m.o. suppression?

Cas ducked into a random room in the sleeping quarters and listened to dean pass. Cas casually opened the door and headed off to the carport, he could not find his keys anywhere and suspected dean had them to greater hinder his efforts at escape.

Cas thought about taking one of the other vehicles but noted that dean in his endeavor for something to do had the other cars in various states of repair from years sitting unused. Cas growled in frustration and staying close to the wall and ears on alert headed down another hallway.

Cas contemplated the instrument that had once helped them locate angels connected to some kind of computer. Maybe it could be tweaked to find vessels with residual grace in them? But then the only way cas knew to remove that was the way he had with Sam, which was to painfully extract it with the syringe. Cas was shook from his thoughts noticing dean in the doorway.

When had Cas's senses been dulled that even distracted he could not hear or feel the mans approach. Well this was aquard cas pretended to be deep in thought about the overlying nature of the choices made in paint color of the room. Cas suspected that not much care had gone into the selection.

Certainly not near the thought that required a full minute and a half of a angels consideration. Dean stood at the door silently and Cas was acutely aware he could not flit out of this dimension and the only way out of the room was past dean. Cas's breath was faster despite himself and a nervous sweat formed on his palms. Was the man going to say something anytime soon? Dean laughed from the doorway at Cas's pathetic attempts at diversion.

" its ok cas, I'm not angry" Cas who had looked increasingly constipated staring at a spot in the wall, relaxed a little but was still giving off a cornered animal vibe. dean quirked a eyebrow and closed the space between them, braking his personal space proclivities. Cas for his part was warring his urge to back up.

But then they were alone, negating public rules. Cas felt intimidated for reasons he could not place, nervous.

"we've been through so much" dean put a finger through Cas's belt loop. "I dint's want to hurt you by letting you make a drunken decision"

Dean was looking at the space just under Cas's chin not wanting to look cas in the eye " also in general…your chances of getting out alive and whole are greater than mine, you know that" Cas made as if to speak and dean glared a silence at him

"and honestly even after I'm dead who knows where I will go now that I have taken so many turns" dean paused not just for effect but for himself to appreciate the swirling convolution of his soul "I don't want you to have to see me changed in purgatory or hell, and I don't think we'll be chilling on cloudscapes together as I get…" dean looked pained "dirtier"

dean looked down further at Cas's chest "soul mates or whatever I don't think I want to taint your existence, during life a relationship is a distraction. A weakness. As things get more complex I doubt that a happy ever after is a thing that can be accomplished either. I'm bad for you Cas, I've…." dean paused and stumbled on

"also I have never been a good…uh a long term… a consistent…" deans mind flailed for a good way to describe how all his relationships had shattered and smoldered and burned, often he found himself the one holding the gas can and matches.

"at one time I thought we would have a forever to do…whatever us it… after I was free of living and the struggle… but now…" dean looked vulnerable maybe he should have never left purgatory. Just staid dead with Cas, the onslaught of enemies at least had the grace to have a body to attack and a honesty to snarl.

"I don't want to have to attend to my issues in the afterlife as well" dean looked up at Cas and was surprised to see pissed off being a prominent emotion there.

"dean" putting his finger in deans belt loop the man flinched like he might have to fend off blows.

"I will attend to whatever I chose to, as much as I choose to" "you know were bound in a way that your end fate is with mine, in the farthest inevitability. By my choice and will, not yours." cas looked at the space just under deans chin as well mirroring the action and did find it a relief to looking the man in the eyes.

" and honestly you know you give yourself too much credit, I could ruin you in more ways than you could consider" Cas sighed and considered that telling dean he could twist his soul up and burn it away to nothing by accident, let alone by purposeful wrenching, if deans soul was not as strong as it was would not be a comfort

Dean for his part had paled a bit

" I'm surprised where you draw the line, I have already been part of your heart, and your soul, and your dreams I walk in and out of your mind like a playroom, and you not only let me you enjoy it" Cas shrugged "you are protecting yourself" Cas let his arm drop dean looked about to work up a list of already heard defensives Cas leaned in and caught deans eye

"as much as you are afraid of yourself and the wreckage you can obtain of this letting go of your tiny hold on a fate that has crumbled away under your hand over time anyway… we are already bound… I am afraid too of myself.

But here we are, as we have been for years, you keep running from it, waiting till your dead. again." "but we've been chasing our… tails about these things for so long it ends up like this. I know this game by now. I have played it in your subconseous in my off time"

Cas poked deans shoulder fiercely "tag" cas turned his face away his features stern "you should give me the credit I am due, I am not some weak thing that will be destroyed by your whims alone" Cas looked up into deans eyes "nor am I the kind of creature that would intentionally do you harm, and dean I believe the same of you"

Deans face twisted as it all was too much and went to his go-to mode to avert the blatant chick flick moment.

"dude its ok to be horny you don't have to be all extatential with it"

Cas's eyebrow twitched and he gritted his teeth contemplating hitting dean cas tightened his hands to fists. But then another idea came to cas he relaxed bringing his body closer to deans

" well dean if that is so then you don't either" cas rubbed a thumb against deans bottom lip and smiled.

dean looked like a deer in the headlights. Dean was fighting a internal short-circuiting and wanted to say something clever but could think of nothing, so he did something silly to divert the situation, dean leaned in and quickly licked a line on Cas's cheek like a affectionate dog and gave a quick kiss to the cheek gave a weak smile twitching with nervousness and turned and fled the room "your it" dean called aquardly and halting.

Cas called after the man "I love you too" and vaguely followed the man knowing he would catch up if dean let him, giving dean the choice to run faster or hide well, as he always did. Only this time it was not a dreamscape.

Dean hid in earnest for a while.

Dean was found on the main room on Sam's computer, a nervous and happy energy on him.

Cas walked up behind him and prepared to poke his shoulder. was dean still playing, had cas misunderstood the fleeing?. Then noticed what the man was watching as cas noticed the porno with a girl with costume wings riding a man dean turned up the volume and unnoticed to cas dean took in the angels reaction from all of a few feet away.

Cas found himself looking at a empty chair that had once contained dean. Distracted by smut! Cas admonished himself and erased Sam's history [because that sort of weird who put this porn on my computer questions were annoying] before heading off to find dean.

The man was found in the library he had obviously gotten bored and was actually reading a book there, he took note of cas entering the room but continued to flip through the book.

Cas frowned was the game over?

Cas walked behind the man and looked at the book, a series of woodprints and legends cas was half bummed it was not the illustrative anthology on nymph behavior. But then cas suspected that was in Sam's room as he had not seen it in a while.

Dean flipped a further page to a porno mag in the book but cas closed his eyes before he could take in the details or be distracted "tag" cas leaned down and licked Deans neck and walked off, further giving dean the choice to play along Cas was in the kitchen before getting tackled by dean who smiled at the angel on the floor, dean leaned in and bit Cas's neck.

"tag" dean made to scramble off but cas grabbed his jeans and pulled him back down, dean for his part gave a quick retaliatory shove of Cas's face. Then being more skilled at hand to hand managed to get free and run off with Cas's shirt.

Cas ran after smiling cunningly. Somewhere under the play even in dreams dean made light of the deeper meaning, if only to protect himself from the feelings. Cas had taken a long time to pull understanding from it but knew deep down that this sort of thing was dean laid as bear as he would allow himself. Cas heard dean sprint off a hallway and followed running a gruff knowing laugh escaping as he tuned the corner and grabbed dean by the shirt and wrest itoff of him a tweak of deans nipple cas ran in the other direction

"your it" dean paused for a moment in thought and ran in the opposite direction cutting a surprised cas off in the hallway they had collided face first. On the floor dean was checking his nose for blood when the angel spared him a concerned look got up and darted off.

Dean growled and chased the angel, turning a corner there was no sign of cas. But there was a door to a room. Dean smiled and ran past it then slowly backed up to it on soft feet. Leaning against the doorframe and looking at his nails with interest dean was unsure if cas was on the other side of the door but if he was the reaction would be worth it. Sure enough the door opened and cas froze misstep and looked priceless for a moment.

Dean lazily got up and Cas backed into the room dean pushed the angel to the wall with his body and bit Cas's neck a few languid licks dean looked down at the angel who shook slightly. The beast still had on deans clothes, dean frowned the trench would have been easier to snag around corners.

Dean slid his hand down the front of his pants that he had given Cas "Hey Cas don't ruin my jeans" cas looked alarmed for a moment embarrassment flashing across his open face before he could gain control of it. Dean caught it and grabbed the belt loops on either hip to keep cas from fleeing. "what" dean asked the now clearly blushing angel.

Cas would not look him in the face. Cas looked off his struggle to avoid eye contact and deans to catch it had too much movement between them to keep coherent, dean was pressing him to the wall. "au!" "ah stop, uh…. Earlier today I did something to warrant them being laundered before returning them to you" cas tried to say as if conversating possible lunch options.

Dean laughed as that filtered past his mind. Dean grabbed a handful of angelic rump and while cas was squirming leaned in to Cas's ear as if to whisper something and with a hip thrust and a shout of "tag!" was gone.

Cas's ringing ear and burning crotch were a distraction good enough for dean to flee and cas would have been pissed at the tactic if only he could concentrate on anything but the panicky throbbing tween his legs. Cas resolved to mess deans jeans up further before trying to chase the man and with a irritated mode and a blush dove his hand between jeans and stomach and grabbed a hold of himself Cas's fingers gripped himself a slick of precum dampening his wrist stuck between pants and dick.

Cas slid down the wall he was leaned against and unbuttoned his… deans jeans. Cas bit his forearm if dean came back and saw him like this it would be one thing but to hear the noise he couldn't help but making… no.

a nearby mirror hummed like a bell as the frequency of the angels notes were too high for human ears, to soft to break it, and just enough to make the molecules dance in its rigid structure. Cas closed his eyes against the wave of cumming hearing heavy drops fall against the cloth and ground, Cas appreciated that he seemed to always create a spectacular mess.

Dean found himself in the basement, but got bummed as soon as he got there and turned back carefully listening for Cas dean was surprised by cas jumping off a bookshelf onto him from above.

The bookshelf fell forward raining books down on dean. Cas stuffed a pair of jeans in his chest and slapped his face with a slightly crooked grin cas darted off in socks.

Dean stood in confusion for a moment looking down at the jeans he noticed the mess around the zipper and dropped them. "really cas" but then dean felt a coldness on his face.

"no" reaching up dean took in the fact that yes cas had slapped him with a handful of cum. Caught somewhere between offended violated and angry Deans mind was caught up in short-circuiting it was a surprise to find himself hard after his dick gave a wag to catch his attention. Deans mind cleared to a goal… equal vengeance! his face felt hot, not shure weather anger or something else dean headed in the direction cas had gone.

Dean ran full speed then stopped in a hallway and shouted "cas you sonofa bitch!" dean was only slightly surprised that his voice had lost pretence of play. The angel was now being hunted. Dean felt the angel knew it with the speed with which cas had been flushed out of his hiding spot by deans voice and was heard running down a hallway to the right. Dean smiled a little and shoulders set turned in that direction.

Cas fled down a hallway and ran into the end wall before turning headed for the main room he had heard a determined growl behind him and had not spared a look back. Cas veered into a utility closet and cursed himself for going into a small room with no exit. The space on his back where his wings would be were twitching in nervous fervor.

Cas pressed a ear to the door and felt a thrill of fear and excitement when he heard dean huffing down the hall. The door handle was twisting and cas pressed himself behind where the door would open. Dean scanned the room, cas held his breath hiding behind it concentrating on keeping his nervous energy in check and to not respond to the scanning search from dean to their existential connection.

Cas appreciated for a moment that the man was …feeling for him in the room not just scanning it with his eyes. Cas could not concentrate and dean was aware of Cas's direction and looked down the hall and trotted off in the direction.

Passing the space he felt he was getting colder and backed up, cas was in the utility room on the right side dean knew it but not where exactly. Dean rested against the doorframe and waited for the door to open, but decided instead to crouch opposite of the door ready to pounce.

Cas opened the door and was midstep into a run when his brain registered a airborne dean. Cas cursed as dean flew into his chest and when cas tried to get up to flee feeling disoriented…dean had grabbed him behind his knees and lifted him off the ground only to bring him back to it.

Cas grabbed dean puling him over himself and getting behind dean grabbed behind the shoulders and bit his neck not hard enough to break skin but the growl it provoked while hot was not the right tone.

Cas made sure to keep his hold on the mans bent knees underneath himself keeping dean from finding leverage to escape or retaliate dean elbowed cas several times Cas reached a hand down the struggling mans front and found with a smile dean was half hard, cas grabbed and pawed till dean was sufficiently distracted for cas to have both hands free and cas unbuttoned the mans jeans and glad dean could not see the mischief flit quickly across his face cas pushed deans head forward so he was on all fours in front of him.

Cas licked the bare back there biting small nips of skin resisting the urge to bite deeper than would leave a bruise and pulled the jeans down to deans knees "uh cas?" dean was blushing and looking slightly alarmed but made no move to flee. Cas smiled and yanked the jeans off dean the rest of the way and ran out the open door.

Dean blinked for a few moments confused, "grrr" dean grabbed himself to relive the pressure but the waves of embarrassment for being outsmarted by Cas…

"Sonofa…" dean squeezed the head of his overhard dick "mothefu…" dean tried to take a breath to calm himself but a spark of heat that had been building roared back into him as soon as he acknowledged it was a thing to contend with. "feathery…" deans arm shook and he panted he wasn't even moving his arm and was so close to cumming he could not move to do so, dean made a helpless noise and closed his eyes opening his mouth a quick and surprised series of pants left him and dean felt himself spurt helplessly through his fingers.

Dean had a pair of jizz covered undies he planed to shove in a certain angels mouth I his hand when he found Cas in the kitchen eating a sandwich and flipping in false unconcern through a magazine.

Cas offered without looking to dean "lunch?" indicating a plate on the counter. Dean took the opportunity to step up to the counter lower parts hidden by it. Dean reached out to the plate noting cas leaning back in false unconcern. Dean ate his half of sandwich giving the angel unending focus while he did so, pleased to see Cas's bravado slipping and his eyes looking for escape routs.

Dean forced his face to soften and conversationally reached for the other half of the sandwich a light shrug on his shoulder. "cas, I have a serious question" cas settled into a honest open face "yes dean" dean adjusted his hold on the underwear to the elastic band "are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes"

dean moved while Cas's mind was trying to keep up and whipped the under where onto Cas's face. Dean gave the over clothed face a pat "tag!" and fled.

Crowley showed up, slightly out of dimension, in the parlor to cas and dean in nothing but their socks, dean was chasing the angel determinedly jaw set. The angel who was calling out "no! base!"

cas collected himself and announced evenly and factually "I call base!" while pointing a finger and with ceremony touching the table. Dean smiled mysteriously and fiddled with the computer at the table for a second crawled onto the table in a crouch and stalked to cas ready to pounce, the laptop started playing Madonna- like a prayer through the speakers.

cas for his part looked aghast for a moment taking in the song "that's inappropriate" he intoned to dean, who was making his way closer to cas a predatory look in his face barely contained behind a smile… cas fled and grabbed a chair he stood behind in defense "calm down dean, I honestly didn't know that bookshelf would fall on you like that!" as dean ran for him

"oh sure… that's what I have issue with cas" Dean pulled the chair aside tossing it carelessly dean grabbed the angel who had made a inhuman sound of joy and fear akin to a songbird bird surprised midnote and drug him to the ground bit his shoulder and said with a toothy mischief "your it, no tag backs"

cas was blushing and then growled and pushed dean down so he sat atop Dean who had put his arms behind his head smiling at castile. "I believe I am the victor, and I require one blowjob as tribute from the defeated" dean stated factually with a eyebrow wiggle and a happy wag of his dick. cas huffed down at dean, but the corner of his mouth was turned up in suppressed grin, but then he looked at the computer still playing a curl of distaste about his lips.

"dean if I gave you a blowjob to that song it would be sacrilegious" dean thought for a second, "and if it tasted good would it be sacrilichious?" cas shook his head and pressed a hand to his blushing face. Crowley's eye twitched on its own accord and he slowly backed out the way he had came, nauseous, disturbed, and needing a stiff drink. Maybe he would literally pull his eyes out dip them in bleach and get them put back and healed, yea that sounded like a plan.

Cas looked down at dean. He wasn't going to give the man a chance to run again or to change his mind cas ran a hand down deans stomach.

Dean swallowed in obvious nervous and the muscles on his stomach twitched at the contact.

Cas leaned down and lie down elbows on either side of dean, his face over deans belly, cas licked a circle around deans bellybutton. cas rolled his eyes at the song. Cas entertained himself with the bellybutton, maybe he could play here until it was over.

Cas looked up to see dean red-faced, his eyes not as focused the pupils dilated cas took in the gasp of surprise and lust as cas grabbed deans sides to use as leverage to pull himself closer to be face to face.

Best to remove himself from temptation cas thought.

Dean was being pressed into a cold hard floor which he was increasingly aware of. Cas leaned into deans chest with his elbows uncomfortably digging into deans pecks. Cas set his head in his hands, Cas looked down at dean who looked back confused.

Deans mind clicked, cas was holding him down until the song ended. Dean squirmed and cas dug his elbows in deeper. Dean shrugged offhandedly on the floor and put his arms behind his head in pretend comfortable wait.

Not looking at cas who dean could feel was amused by deans posturing. Cas for his part felt his face burn red as he swallowed and looked away missing the ability to really look through things the main room didn't really offer any kind of appropriate distraction.

" uhm, how bout we move to the bedroom." dean offered "my butt is numb this floor is cold." cas considered. Half wishing he had his wings to distract dean, to flip them into local condensing for dean to awe and fiddle with to forget his numb butt, honestly cas was comfortable.

"yours or mine?" cas inquired "or any of the empty rooms?" cas watched dean consider a flash of mischief passing "no" cas said before dean could voice the idea that they wreck up Sam's room in mischief. Deans lower bits gave a twinge "whatever's closest?"

Dean considered that walking with a hardon was just not particularly a good look, naked it just flopped side to side slapping his leg balls flopping annoyingly. Deans go-to thought for bringing it down was at one point was violent death by car but now that the mark had entered his life that did not help. But the angst of that not helping helped in itself a bit. Dean watched cas resolutely walking ahead of him and swallowed a nervous.

Cas obviously had his ears on dean, and at deans faltered step turned and pushed dean against the hallway wall Cas rested his cheek against deans shoulder and ran a thumb across his ribs a thrumming rising from Cas's chest and throat.

Cas pushed energy into the sound and it trailed on deans skin in the sound a heat that made deans breath catch in his throat. Cas grabbed deans hand and pulled him onward down the hallway. Dean felt a little bit like a dog on a leash, stumbling after Cas's energetic pace. Dean would never admit the urge to give a nervous 'eeek' but the thought passed.

Finding himself in a empty room dean faltered nervously a hand rising to rub the back of his head dean looked off to the side and closed his eyes. His temporary escape provided him none as Cas had gone onto his knees and pulled deans soft manhood into his mouth.

Any forming thoughts of backing out gracefully left deans mind. "shit Cas" dean looked down to see Cas's bright eyes looking back at him, blood went south fast enough for dean to feel weak-kneed. "w…warn a guy…" whatever intensity dean meant to put into it was lost somewhere and it came out breathy and lost.

Cas raised a eyebrow tongue happily swirling Cas let go with a pop. Cas looked up at dean "consider yourself adequately warned for the following" Cas leaned in and took dean in again, swirling wildly his tongue.

Dean gasped a half-curse above him. Cas paused against a spark of his own low in his belly and ran a tongue against the smooth skin in his mouth dean had shaved a few days ago there was a patch of stubble there in front of his pubic bone, Cas watched a quiver run under the skin as he dove his head back and forth enjoying the shaking state he had dean in.

a hand came into view and Cas's eyes followed as dean rubbed a place between his thigh and dick with shaky distracted fingers. Cas felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see dean leaning on him for support breath going in and out in fast puffs. The mans green eyes looking at Cas a red on his cheeks, and there was this wonderful shaking up deans back that made him look helpless.

Cas felt a spark of warmth, the emotion rolled around inside him. Cas wanted to know what mysterious thing dean was doing with his hand, some spot that needed touching. Dean had been possessed of flesh longer than Cas and Cas wasn't going to miss out on a trick of the body, Cas let go of dean in his mouth and attacked the spot between deans fingers with his tongue waiting for the reaction.

There was a dean raining down in flailing limbs and Cas found himself face to face with dean who's legs had given out under him. Dean looked surprised then embarrassed a bit, then took in how close their faces were dean found a urge to kiss Cas.

Maybe he should, it seemed like that would be a thing to do, a smooth transition from his aquard. But while deans mind short-circuited in his head Cas looked at a man nervous and wanting.

Cas closed the space between him resisting the urge to whisper tag again. Dean lost himself for a moment, just feeding of the energy shared between them, biting and nipping at Cas's lips if only to provoke equal retaliation.

Cas mumbled something in another language as dean attacked with relish Cas's neck a hand clutching a wing bone knowing that the twitching skin on Cas's back was a direct result. So dream world had some informative notes. By now in dream world though Cas's wings would have been out. Mortality closing in on his angel brought new irritation to Dean.

Deans palm on the floor registered it was cold and dean felt a surge of concern for Cas. " hey the bed is more comfortable" dean tried to offer conversationally.

Dean got up and Cas was already standing by the bed waiting for dean to get on it.

Dean paused and pushed Cas's shoulder to the bed, Cas not getting it dean voiced

"get on the bed Cas". Cas sat on the edge of the bed looking at dean, Cas evaluated the height differences

" dean I think I'm too high to reach in this position." dean resisted the urge to smack his face and roll his eyes Cas never made anything easy.

"lie back Cas" Cas looked concerned "uh, dean I…" dean pushed Cas's shoulder and crouched over Cas feeling the urge to laugh rise exponentially as Cas looked downright squirmy.

Dean looked at the space between them both of them standing at attention dean could not help the urge to compare.

Cas was girthy, dean had him maybe on length but Cas was unshaved so who knew. Both were lucky men dean thought to himself.

Cas disagreed with the appraising look dean was giving him, deans hand trailing up Cas's ribs. A assured smugness in dean Cas felt radiating off the man. Cas was not some conquest, Cas knocked out deans supporting arm and rolled dean onto his back looking down at dean with his own glaring eyes Cas felt a lightning in his mood to see deans eyes dilate and a blush rise.

Deans hands betrayed him as in instinct he had set them on either side of Cas's hips. Cas considered for a moment then slid down deans body till his knees hit the floor Cas resumed sucking dean off.

Cas would not be distracted.

Dean for his part lost the ability to think again and started making gasping mewls that embarrassed him, unable to silence them he grabbed a pillow and shoved it to his face.

Cas reached up and wrenched it from his grasp and tossed it behind him.

Cas hummed a baritone sending helpless sparks up deans stomach and thighs, Cas radiated another rumble of sound and energy and dean threw his head back in open hopeless moan, jaw closing a contained moan bounced in his throat as he was aware of a cold shooting out of his dick dean spurting before his body registering he was Cumming.

Deans back arched up and then bonelessly fell caught in waves of orgasm, neither aware to the noises he continued to make and helpless to do anything but twitch as Cas continued to swirl a tongue on his head, the sensation too much in a background of frantic pulsing.

Cas climbed up to lie next the a panting dean , a dull slow roll still sliding around his hips in aftereffect. Cas lie back next to dean lazily swirling a thumb on his own dick as he listened to the emotion and heat rolling off dean, Cas closed his eyes and felt deans slow unabated and currently simple mind swirl in lusty aftershock and sated swirl.

But then deans mind come screeching to a halt on seeing Cas next to him and fill with noise, among them a idea came into clarity and Cas kept his eyes closed and continued fiddling with himself.

If dean wanted to believe his actions were a surprise Cas would let him, the man was still unsure how much of his mind Cas could feel when his walls were out of the way. Cas was sure that was just fine, having heard the mans mind twist in concern when he got a hint of the possibility. Cas frowned to himself as deans walls shut him out again. But then the bed had moved a little as dean tried to sneak closer and Cas knew what was coming.

Dean pulled Cas's hand away and dove in, not letting himself change his mind or remember occasions where he had done this against his will as a child traversing the country too pretty to not be molested, being in bad area's where death was overlooked and uncared. Dirty seedy motels and the monsters were men so much… the monsters hid among them camouflaged in forgotten places rife with crime. Left alone too much, dean was not unfamiliar with innocence rattled. Or in hell, but dean had learned to give and take there. Or too drunk and horny to consider much but a ends to a means. Just now he wanted to make Cas make pretty barely human noises and moan in French or enochian or something.

A treat, dean blushed to himself. this wasnt really his style.

He wasn't about to leave Cas hanging after what he just did. Cas's head was smooth like the back of deans tongue, whirling the textures together to feel it dean considered that even though he was uncut maybe he should moisturize or something Cas's dick must be sensitive as hell for the blushing pinkpurple and the smooth skin.

Dean ran a dry finger across the top watching Cas give a small grimace dean registered he was right.

Dean ran a tongue around the ridge and dove the full length of his tongue down the frenulum, Cas might not be able to deep throat but dean had learned out of necessity breathing around things shoved in his throat.

Cas gasped and dean swallowed around Cas so the man could feel that pressure on him as well.

Pulling back to the head dean sucked off the slick and excess of his throat, a light red in deans eyes dean swallowed against a urge to gag throat empty.

Swirling his tongue and laving cas to distract and calm himself Dean hummed and dove hands behind Cas's ass to squeeze, placing thumbs on the shell of Cas's hips dean ran his hands up his sides keeping most of his pressure on his thumbs dean trailed them back down to keep the point of focus and dean ran them down past a small pool of spit he had there at Cas's shaft dean reached behind Cas's balls to the space between hole and sack and twirled there a damp finger.

Happily twirling his tongue dean felt pleased with himself for drawing Cas's attention so well. But then cas was not being multilingual, just saying fuck! Fuck! In varying cadence.

Deans ears were ringing, a buzzing. It was only when it stopped and started again dean realized the angel was moaning…in his own voice.

Dean didn't dare stop but rolled his eyes up to see cas gripping the sheets in one hand looking down at dean propped up on the other, a space between lips opening and a high pitched buss was felt but not quite heard by dean.

Cas leaned up both hands behind him and his legs gave a quiver his head down and mouth open cas made a note somewhere between human voice and stringed instrument. There was no warning really but a further hardening of Cas's bellend as dean found himself trying to deal with a appreciable volume of cum breaking his suction and shooting unexpected down his throat dean sputtered in surprise and the squirting dick free of his lips got him in the face a few times.

Dean huffed indignant. " warn a guy!" Cas looked at dean who got the distinct impression the angel was taking mental photographs.

Deans jaw worked in irritation, feeling a wet slide down a cheek. panting helplessly cas flopped back onto the bed.


	8. all aboard

Dean had had a lot of distraction, mostly being stuck in his own head and a endless need for something to do… but noticed Cas, and Sam were gone for weeks at a time now on cases, insisting dean rest.

Dean figured he would benefit from sinking his knife arm deep in something to keep himself 'fed' but couldn't bring himself to suggest they use him as the thing to kill all their hunts.

Dean wondered for a minute if since the man before him who owned the mark could flit from one place to another even in full control of himself could he now? Maybe he should pop in on his brother.

Dean considered a conversation with Cas about the shortest way between two points was a straight line, if he knew where Cas was once he could fly again and put angel sigils on a billboard in Cas's direct path would the angel crash into it like a bird to a window? Dean shook his head to clear the thought. He had been having violent thoughts more frequently.

Both Sam and Cas were hiding something Sam was comical on the phone in his desperation to get off it. And Cas had taken to just not answering. Dean suspected they were up to something about his mark, their stories conflicted slightly, but could not help but be annoyed. What else would they conspire on?

With distance now that the angel was weak their connection was weak, no dreamscape brushes of conseousness, no vague awareness if concentrated on of which direction in the bunker Cas was, dean would not admit to himself he missed the shared energy, but surfing the internet and news for cases gave him more familiar and comforting distraction at the moment. Beside Cas had started to get annoying with re-organizing the men of letters library which was out of order, cleaning everything to a inch of its life. A bored angel was a annoying angel dean had surmised.

The place could only get into so much order and dean had taken to leaving his trash around just for the beast to have something to do. Dean wondered if his boredom and nervous constant need to distract himself had rubbed off on the angel.

Deans nightmares had gotten more vivid, but he was both surprised and relived he was waking rested anyway half the time. Like he was getting used to them. Dean had taken up time calling other hunters and friends to catch up, but dean figured that he had taken up quota on all of his contacts, he did not want to be outright needy. Dean considered blowing his head off again but was almost sure the mark had the power to heal that even, maybe if he hopped into a industrial meat grinder in a burning building?

Occasionally someone would call him for helpful info. Dean considered calling Crowley again, and had realized he still had Benny's number and called it in half hope of hearing the message there but as he thought the number by now belonged to someone else, and dean had just hung up on the overly cheery voice on the other end. Maybe he could Ouija board the guy?

Dean had even called the most obscure numbers on all his phones and had even snatched up Sam's at some point and done the same out of boredom already.

Dean flipped through a vintage dirty mag he had found in one of the rooms and thought out of nowhere Maybe he could summon death and they could go out for a day on the town just bingeing on fast food and reminiscing about the universe, deans head was certainly full of it ala Cas. Maybe he would have some pointers on what to do.

Dean wondered how well he could hold up his end of the conversation. Flirting with death, dean smirked to himself, the guy wasn't his type, not even in another body. Too reserved, too creepy, too scary. No death was a one night stand type from deans summation and even then dean would be too intimidated to try. If he called death he would probably be killed before he could do the incantation then have to explain to the entity after physical death that he just wanted to hang because he was bored and depressed, which was not a good idea anyway. Actually if death was a buddy of his maybe he could feed the mark on people destined to die anyway, dean filled that thought away on the extremely desperate side of options. Maybe death himself could bring dean a permanent end and give Cas his souls relative coordinates. Dean filled that thought away as well.

Dean was alone truly nothing but his own echoing in his mind, and decided to let himself go a bit. Looking around to confirm he was indeed alone he flipped through his phone and looked up the pictures he had taken when he had destroyed the body Crowley had been occupying, other pictures of his deamonly deeds flashed past. Dean did not even remember some of them, and felt a pang of shame looking at one picture of a obviously terrified young girl that was strapped to a bungee cord. Dean and Crowley had kidnapped her from a church and took her to a bridge and just threw her off the side on a bungee cord to enjoy the terrified screams and hilarity. She had pissed herself. It was fun at the time.

Dean took his laptop down to the basement of the men of letters, the devils trap and chair there and a knife. Dean just knew this was the place he would end up, or die. Dean cut his hand and re applied the markings to the floor, he found it comforting to do this till he got dizzy and sick from blood loss, reapplying and strengthening the various sigils in the bunker. Particularly this one.

Dean sat on the chair and played hozier- arsonists lullaby and flipped through the gory pictures, caught somewhere between aroused and deeply sad. He reached his cut hand down under his jeans and took himself in his hand, his every stroke tearing at his cut, it would heal.

Dean rolled his cut over the head of his dick and let the blood cover it. Deans eyes dilated and he let himself fade into nothing, resting his mind to all but a faded glow dean let himself play as he wanted, no one was here to see anyway. Dean tainted by his time in hell knew not as well the line between pain and pleasure. He still liked plain joy but he wanted to hurt just now, sparking through his disassociation spikes of pain and pleasure broke through.

Deans leg twitched on its own accord and his dead eyes took it in, a small smile at the absurdity of it. Dean found his favorite picture and something of himself broke through if Sam ever saw these pictures… Dean frowned. And shut his phone and tossed it aside.

Dean looked up at the ceiling and took in the tilting room, blood loss making him feel light and sick and his dick twitched at his distraction, deans other hand free he grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled a sharp gasp escaped and he blushed at himself, or he would have if he had the blood to

. Dean found in another wave of dizzy spinning himself half hard and unable to get it up again dean stroked in vain the deflated flesh oversensitive. Dean sighed through another dizzy spin allowing himself comfort in that he didn't cum, probably from blood loss, and just looked up at the ceiling for a while, after the song stopped.

His swirling in his ears a sound like the ocean beset by a swarm of insects and his unattended hand hung lose and dripping beside the chair. Dean wished he could cry or scream but the silence was defining here. Maybe he would go out to a bar or something, maybe if he delved into pair of d cups he would not feel this silence. Was he hungry maybe he should eat? He certainly wanted out of here. "whoo commence the pity party" dean said to the ceiling.

He was getting tired of this routine, but the more he wanted today involved slaughter, which was a change in flavor at least. Dean sniffed the air under his arm, he needed a shower. Deans eyebrow twitched as a idea passed and he licked his lips standing up quickly his blood loss swirled his vision down to a spin of sudden loss of pressure to his brain it was white light and black splotches dean let himself sway on the edge of conseousness and he inhaled through his nose the smell of lingering blood in the air and though the struggle for conseousness was fading in and out his mind clung to the enticing scent memories of hells small joys and recent enough debaucheries.

Dean had raped the last vampire he killed… Sam off somewhere else, dean had sunk a knife into her side to feel her insides twitch against his dick. it was somehow precious in that no one knew. Letting go in the marks violence. the implication of potential enticed deans swirling bloodlust and images flashed bodily through his mind, a aftertaste of sulfur in there somewhere clung to the room and dean smiled in the nauseous dizzy spin of a world tilting in blood and joy in his fading mind.

Dean lost the ability to stand and found himself back in the chair dean moaned in queasy and sublime spin punctuated by a gag and a slide of sick down his chin. Dean attempted to scream dragging himself back to full conseousness with the willful act against the encroaching dark. The scream itself it started as a sob a squeek, in his first breath he gasped his lungs of air then crawled up to a sorrowful note and ended in a enraged snarl and then he was conseous enough to roar, it echoed in the hallways. He had defeated this one small darkness in that he did not pass out but it had won in its own way.

* * *

After Rowena and the guess jean add guys had been annoying for a moment he found himself looking at Crowley. Dean could tell that his will to fight with himself was weak, and wondered if that was inherent to his marks power or had he gotten so close to the demon that he could read his deeper intent? Dean was surprised to find himself mixing the beast a fruity drink and taking himself a bottle out of the back of the unattended bar, Crowley himself keeping the still living nearby unconseous to keep their conversation quiet, relaxed. Dean sat by the demon the sent of sulfur clung to the tasteful suite and dean found it added a dimension to his drink he found refreshing. Would a bottle of whisky be more enjoyable on the edge of a volcano taking in the sulfur from natures source, brushed in the pain and comfort of the heat that would kill if you got too close? If dean jumped into a volcano would that end him?

Dean fought the urge to clink his glass against Crowley's, who he had made just as frilly as possible. How refreshing to be able to deal with a ground zero and not have to flee it, no one was awake around to call the cops, and Crowley could probably magically make these men forget. Maybe dean could even come back to this bar again, he had gotten on first name basis with some of the people here. Dean twirled a finger in his drink out of nervousness, during his discussion with Crowley he had remembered what family meant to him, as if by calling it out by name and idea it had brought it up into a summon in his mind and it had pushed out his depression a bit. When had Crowley become a comfort? Dean stole a look out of the corner of his eye at the demon who was also blank-eyed contemplation of the wall in front of him while twiddling his drink, were they actually sharing a comfortable silence? Dean said wow to himself silently and took his shot.

Dean had actually gave the demon a pat on the shoulder before he popped out of dimension. Dean had added a quick "hey if you need someone killed call me" implying both kinship and his current desperation for blood. Dean considered taking up smoking as one of the knocked out men had left a pack on the floor and dean was awash in confusion and still had to drive home, wasn't going to drink anymore. But felt he needed to top off this level of odd with something more. Dean shrugged and headed to his car, maybe he could call Crowley back to transport him to the bunker after a more intense drinking escapade? Demon taxi service? Nah….maybe.

Dean flipped his phone open, he wanted to ask Crowley if he could feel the demon rising in him again. Dean shoved it back in his pocket, he did not want to know but suspected the answer would be "dean it never left". which honestly was not the thing dean needed confirmation on right now.

Sitting in his car dean decided he did not want to go home and stopped by a gas station and cleaned out his car, cleaned the windows. Checked the oil on it and generally fussed over it, another happy distraction. this car wanted nothing deeper from him, like himself it would run till it gave out. Dean lay a cheek against the hood "rock it till the wheels fall off right baby", gave the hood a pat and sat in the drivers seat. Maybe he had too much to drive after all, eh baby would get him home, she was good like that.

Later the next day nothing hunter worthy was in the new or the internet again so Dean had taken it on himself to try to find the remaining bones of the men of letters and burn them as something to do but between Cas's previous fluxes of boredom and his all he found was a foot bone in a shoe.

Rifling through old closets and trying on outfits that were still in good shape he enriched his closet, Cas's and Sam's and drove the extra stuff to a local donation. Dean had been sure to leave a healthy amount of pubes in Sam's razor by way of brotherly mischief and had traded his toothpaste for some outdated approximation from the demise of the men of letters.

It still smelled vaguely minty. Dean had a box of pins and rocks with runes and other random stuff to sort and put where it belonged as well as a stack of books to put in the library, the men of letters appeared like any human to have sticky fingers a bit and when they had died their stashes had remained where they were.

dean fiddles with a set of knuckle bones but could not bring himself to ask anything more relevant of its divination than outfit options for the day, dean did not want any hard truths or likelihoods. Dean considered a stogie box with Cubans in it. How long before a cigar was bad? Dean lit one and took a drag and promptly was reduced to dry heaves. Apparently several decades was quite long enough.

Dean found himself running out of things to do, poking tentatively at a glowing bottle with a pencil among the spell ingredients he fought the urge to open it. He had gnawed on the wing bone of a manticore while staring off into space drawing up some protective spells and making potions to put in his bag in the car pouring through a book before he noticed what he was doing and spat it out, its tag indicating what it was now damp deans tongue felt tingly.

Dean decided to go for a drive. He had tuned his Car to a inch of its life and had even changed its oil unnecessarily. But first dean took the remaining Cubans and crunched them into a bowl in which he poured alchihol. It was a old African rite to gather the souls of the dead. Not knowing where the men had died dean carried the bowl and used a spray bottle to spray the mix as he went "all aboard" dean announced to the silence boomingly. Dean had already burnt sage and spread salt in the past but his continued and diverse cleansing of their now home gave him some comfort. Once outside he set the soaked tobacco in its bowl just outside the doorway. With a slight salute to it he headed to his car.

Only a few days later Charlie in the bunker had been a amazing distraction, with dizzy endless things to just do all the sudden. To bring joy to her face let dean laugh for the first time in a while completely careless. Dean did notice Cas being a bit standoffish, but found himself practically frolicking by his standards. Deep into revelry dean found himself dancing with Charlie and both of them trying to get Cas to dance at all when Sam passed by the main room… lurking really. That dean really started to suspect something was up. But he let it pass in the glow of better distraction. Sam wasn't looking him in the eye and Cas though his powers were back and they both had taken to being closer had been…scarce. Something was definitely up. But maybe he was developing paranoia along with everything else.


	9. thermite acquisition forms

Dean had found a candle making station in the men of letters spell ingredients section and made some lavender candles for his room.

It wasn't really the highlight of his life but when a men of letters book suggests they are relaxing…well.

Now dean had considered going to the store for them, but then he would have to sneak them in, and dean felt like his brother Sam had enough fuel at the moment.

Dean had figured that maybe if caught he could claim some obscure location spell for a book the men of letters had hid in the walls somewhere. Dean had avoided using a block of wax that said soponification, and in quotations had said grave wax it smelled just wrong like smelling dry bacon through moldy dirt. They were supposed to be relaxing, the lavender candles, but the salt he had put in as a afterthought made the wick spark and pop randomly.

He considered for a moment if he was going to live beyond a normal life bound to existence by the mark would he given time become a powerful magician fueled by the knowledge of the men of letters?

What would he do as man or demon with the power? Probably free booze and women. Dean imagined he would not want to be ruler of man, demon or spiritual intrinsic. Too much paperwork, propaganda and upkeep. Crowley had waxed endlessly about proper file storage one drunken diatribe. Boring.

He would just flit from bar to bar raising minimum hell and leaving shaking women in his wake. Learning how to flit through dimensions better and calling Crowley every ten minutes for pointers, maybe visit some friends in hell, heaven, and purgatory.

He could meet famous dead! Dean thought for a moment on that, was Elvis a citizen of hell? Deans mind wandered on though at length Dean wanted to fly, maybe he would gain himself a chimeric pair from some of the shamanistic spells just to chase Cas around the local dimensions, dean smiled to himself imagining a interdimensional game of tag.

Maybe he could get himself a blowjob and a fuck on the great wall of china, his eyes black and Cas's glowing with a look of annoyance, there wings touching. Dean highly suspected the angel now fully powered would win the game and dean would be the one blowing the angel, maybe on the side of Micu Pichu.

Dean was almost disappointed in his lack of vision and tried to imagine his greatest possibility, maybe he could dip into generative alchemy and birth the angels back from the dead using there remaining grace as a template, but where would he get the blood and sacrifice needed for that?

Maybe dean could get into the meat business and designate every pig or cow going through the slaughterhouse to the spell with sigils on the abattoir floor, or get into politics and suck all the energy from souls in a battlefield. Something with good public backing and a overall noble cause.

The spell would probably not effect the quality of the meat from the slaughterhouse and he could upkeep a healthy profit margin employing the ever intelligent Charlie to handle bookkeeping and public relations.

Himself though out of the convention and more on the demon side would have literally made friends in high places. They would be beholden to him for restoring them to life, so much more apt to look the other way.

Dean thought to himself, sulfur was not the most pleasant smell, maybe he would research into basic glamour magic to make his demonic musk more appealing, but then his personality had easily won him into the pants of women even with the light undertone of egg farts.

Maybe make the philosophers' stone and keep Sam immortal and chasing deans tail in circles until they found a cure for the mark, dean was sure the men of letters would have info on that if it existed.

Or he could make his brother a 'knight of hell' as well. How difficult was it for Cain to create Abidon?

Maybe if dean shot himself lit himself on fire first and did it in a slowly sinking boat himself in a tub of thermite, and the boat itself in fast moving water that would scatter his ashes…. he would be a kind of dead that the mark would not cure. But where does one buy thermite without proper licensure, how to fake the licensure…contractors might use thermite right? Dean put his headphones in and glass animals, cocoa hooves played and dean drifted off to sleep, relaxed in a vague kind of way by having something to do tomorrow, research of all things.

But as his mind was on the topic of books his eyes opened from the edge of sleep and he remembered the book Sam had held, its whispers. Alone in his room dean smiled with a little mischief then controlled his face and turned into the pillow, maybe that kind of stuff wasn't for him…. Or maybe, maybe it really was his cup of tea and that was just as dangerous.

Eh one thing at a time, one day at a time. Dean did not sleep really but felt rested when the sun rose.

Dean found himself the next day cleaning his car again, the pollen everywhere had settled on his baby and it irritated him the idea of a region-wide bukkake. Tree sperm all over his car, why had Cas informed him of the sexuality of plants?

It made his occasional allergy problem more annoying by too much info. Dean looked around him to make sure he was alone and addressed a nearby pine "whooore!" dean bared his teeth at it. The world potentially at his twitching fingers but for his restraint on the side of good behavior and his car was being molested by it.

* * *

"Dean you know life is not just the sum of its parts but the experience you derive from it, at least as far as I can tell. Though very rarely does perception change reality." Cas had straightened up and settled eyes on the burger dean was eating.

"For example dean that burger is merely a sum of worldly parts. The bread is the ground up ovary and embryo of the wheat plant, chemically and dynamically changed by yeast a single celled organism…

the thing that made the bread rise in the first place was basically the organisms farting. Then cooked all the organisms died, probably with speed"

"The cheese is really just artfully bad milk, clotted with rennet the stomach acid of a baby cow… and the meat, the ground up remnants from the factory. The tomato the womb and seeds within the embryo of a plant evolved to be eaten as to spread its seed and progeny in the dung of grazing and flying beasts"

Dean had set his burger down, and turned a bit pale. But cas wasn't one to pick up on subtlety. "but your tongue and mind enjoys the experience derived of parts you don't need to know all of to do so" dean swallowed and considered his burger, rolled his shoulders and said to it

"aw don't listen to the mean man I *munch bite* you anyway" Dean swallowed and looked at the deep in thought angel with a smile and challenge in his eye. A gritting annoyance and anger had been deans undertone all day ala the mark. Dean was openly trying to fake good-natured today.

"but then you as a species evolved to have these perceptions so is perception as life is bound to also inherently tasked? More one dimensional out of good synergy?" cas pondered to dean

"hey can we not pick apart the universe while I'm eating?" dean said a little squeakily dean cleared his throat. Thinking of shoving his fist in the angels mouth and asking how that tasted.

"gives me indigestion" cas seemed to ponder that as well and dean rolled his eyes got up to eat in his room apart from the apparently today patron angel of nausea. "gonna eat in my room alone" dean said

"catch you later" and gave the angels shoulder a pat as he passed dean backed up as a after thought and leaned down to sniff at the angel. "cas, does weed effect you as a recharged angel?" cas looked back at dean with hard eyes. The eyes themselves dean noted were not looking him in the eye. Dean frowned back, "cas … for you especially…."

dean involuntarily flashed to post apocalypse scenario Cas's blissed blank eyes. Dean flicked Cas's nose "naughty cas…no" Cas looked all violent potential for a moment and dean who had been smiling vaguely stood up and ready…mostly to run. But the part of him held in the mark was excited. Cas looked off to the side

"its been rough month" dean flashed angrily in his head but his voice came out calm "cas I don't want to see you dealing like that, hell I don't like seeing me deal like that." a grumpy uprising swirled in dean "can you even get liver failure now? Because if not that's… not fair either" dean was not one to lecture on coping mechanisms and chewed his lip in worry before shrugging and heading to his room with his plate.

Passing Sam in the hallway dean smiled "I think cas stole your stash" dean smiled through a bite of his burger as Sam halted and looked surprised and then denial flashed by followed by bummed. "I was saving that for a day off" dean swallowed eyebrow up " we never have a day off sparkles" Sam looked back cogs in his head going visibly.

Cas for his part got up and walked outside where he leaned on a tree smoking what was certainly enough to sedate a bull elephant. Cas had left Sam some money of course, but had cleared out the car, the men of letters spell supply and sams room.

Not skilled and not one to ask right now cas had it all stuffed into a glass tube he had found among the alchemy supplies, from one end to the other stuffed the tube was sucked to ash by stronger than human will imposed on lungs barely capable of taking in all of it in one long unnatural drag.

Cas needed a escape, and the Winchesters were a bad influence, his wings were still broke and keeping secrets from dean… Cas wanted to fly to anywhere else but he lived here bound in flesh and bone Cas was helpless to run.

Cas shivered bodily as his flesh was torn with want to have any real air, and getting rid of whatever poor substitute this in his lungs was. Singularity of will that cas knew he was capable of kept his mouth shut, though his ribs shook and the glass tube fell unnoticed from his hand, cas was beginning to see spots and exhaled and slid down the tree bonelessly after the exertion.

Cas sniffed his shirt and wrinkled his nose and with a wave the offending smell was off of him. Cas put his hands on his knees sitting back against the tree, relatively bummed that apparently, no, this stuff did not effect him. The small amount earlier had done nothing either. Cas coughed a few times, stood up and decided to go for a walk.

He got four steps before the world tilted sideways. Cas woke to himself two hours later, on a hammock made of clover, a wreath of flowers knitted into his hair, moss rings on and necklaces made of ivy. A young nymph sat humming to herself a few feet away knitting another necklace. " where am I?" cas looked around "who are you?" the nymph turned to look at cas a she giggled and got up, pinched his cheek and put the necklace on his neck. She was naked and Cas found her grabbing his hand and putting it on her breast.

Cas looked back alarmed and took in his necklaces, "I'm already taken!" Without a word but a sorrowful look that portrayed 'that's a shame' she walked into a tree disappearing a upturn to her nose and Cas noticed after she had ripped the necklace off him before leaving. Cas took a further hour to get back to the bunker as he had no real idea where he was, and was not going to even attempt to explain to Sam or dean. Cas punched a tree nearby in frustration, which only made his hands hurt which only made him angrier and when his hands were numb except for pain, Cas slid down and sat by the tree realizing how helpless he was at the moment to either escape or do anything useful really. Maybe he would go for a walk? Maybe he should work on his physique? Take up knitting? Cas sighed trying to think of a constructive distraction. Cas didn't want to hunt today either.

* * *

…

Dean later had caught over the angels shoulder him looking up parenting basics on his laptop, a worried line on his brow. Dean would have commented but he didn't want the underlying nature of his beer picked apart. Dean looked at his beer…. Tastefully rancid wheat and barley. Dean cussed to himself all the way to his room, slammed the door and lie back on his bed. Maybe he should spar with his brother on pretext of keeping him sharp? Was dean too old to take up parkour?

Something to do… Dean left his room to pick a fight with his brother…spar dean corrected himself.

Then dean thought better of it, his self control was waning. Maybe there was such a thing as a underground fight club for the supernaturally gifted he could use a fight he would not fear himself getting out of hand, something in a cage that could be locked from the outside. Dean flipped his phone open and dialed Crowley.

Dean was sure his overly scented candle in his room would dissipate the sulfur smell of flashing between dimensional space ala demon transport, he needed to get out and arm deep in something screaming and snarling. Today was a bad day.

Crowley looked at the phone number id and considered not answering. But sighed and answered.

" I need violence and bloodshed, you can watch if you want" Crowley inhaled still trying to come up with a clever greeting as the words filtered past his brain. Dean knew just what to say didn't he? "straightforward much dean?" Crowley let a calming pause for himself stretch " you know something could be said for subtly and subterfuge" dean growled over the phone in frustration

" not from me"

Dean found himself in a prison, Crowley walked him past cells a thoughtful quirk on his brow as he walked down the hall. As they paused a cell where the resident looked up at dean and Crowley and as his eyes settled on dean he started screaming. "no, anything but that! I will not be corrupted!" Crowley looked surprised, and grabbed deans arm making him walk a distance onward. Dean looked confused "corrupted?" dean looked over at Crowley

Crowley looked deep in thought.

"this is one of the last angel captives I have. I suppose he is talking about the perceived notion you corrupted castile. he is too valuable to throw to your meat grinder but maybe you could scare him a bit? Maybe rattle something new out of him?"

dean was silent for a while several potential deluges of words angry or questioning flickering across his face so readable Crowley had to look away to keep from giggling.

Dean sighed a exasperated note of fuck it in there "after I get a little relaxed, don't trust myself right now I'd gut him just to see how much damage his body could take as a angel before he'd die" dean looked at Crowley piercingly "and you will owe me" Crowley positively lit up but remained silent and nodded sincerely.

Dean paused at a cell that seemed to contain just two white eyes in a swirling black mist, it was looking at him "hey ssssexnessss are you my conjical visit tonight?" it hissed and twirled its darkness within the cell, a approximation of a hand formed an beckoned with a index finger come hither dean smiled and stepped up to the bars " only if I get to be on top" Crowley took in the interaction " dean this is a child of Io and [Crowley air quotation] Zeus, and while sex with a mostly vaporous form can be fun in its own way I can tell you that he/she/it provides a disappointing lack of friction.

Whether from overuse or just from the nature of the beast I'm not sure" the darkness condensed into a smoky ill defined human shape which flicked Crowley off. Dean laughed and continued following Crowley who had walked off. Crowley stopped in front of a cell in which was a huge man shaking and growling inhumanly deep.

"if this doesn't kill you then it aught to get the violence out of your system" Crowley considered the thing now roaring at him straining against its chains its face elongated and teeth sprouted in every available orifice of its mouth. Deans looked at the snarling thing grow a tail and claws a thrill of excitement making his teeth hurt even as in some distant part of him dragged the words to his lips "what the hell is that?!"

" a hybrid, a failed experiment in crossbreeding, not good pets, not good solders." Crowley caught the following sentence shut in his teeth [kind of like your brother a failed experiment] dean was zeroed in on the beast his whole body thrumming with a hunger only accented by the growling that dean himself was unaware was being answered by himself in a unheard but by Crowley in his throat, deans lips drawn back from his teeth in a echo of smile and plain bearing of them, a separation between top and bottom teeth forming.

Crowley took a step back as dean put both hands on he bars and leaned in still focused on the beast dean gripped the bars to white knuckle and with plain lust leaned his forehead against the bars. Dean turned to Crowley who could not help the trill of fear in him, though it did not reach his face "Crowley you are awesome"

Crowley straightened his handkerchief pocket and smiled "well I thought chocolates or flowers but then…" the quip was lost on dean who had once again zeroed in on the beast who now was worked up enough to be straining against its neck chain to a choking slobbering wheeze between snapping teeth.

"Let me in" dean said suddenly holding a small knife Crowley wondered where it was stored. One of the first things that dean had done when he got here was to disarm. "Whoa guys calm down don't blow your load just yet." Crowley handed dean a pair of brass knuckles and indicating he wanted the knife. "well now dean you wanted to get it out of your system and we all know you could kill a elephant with a pocketknife"

dean would have said something but the beast in the cage roared and the hair on deans neck stood up and he glaze eyed just handed over his knife and took the knuckles. Crowley snapped and the intercom of the prison crackled and Crowley's voice came on " attention beloved residence please back away from your hallway doors and enjoy the show. The management is not responsible for loss of limb, tentacle, genitillia or life due to non-compliance"

Crowley looked in thought for a moment and drowning pool- bodies started playing over the intercom "I know how you love mood music dean" Crowley snapped and was gone.

As well as the bars and chains on the animal who had crashed into deans side and pushed him bodily into the other side of the wall. All passion and no skill in its frantic need for contact with deans body the beast merely slammed him against the wall no tooth or claw, and dean for his part had dropped one of the brass knuckles in surprise but the other one found it on his hand before he could think as the beast opened its maw and went for deans arm which dean let the beast think it had closing tooth into his arm and bracing its back even before it had its jaws clenched around it for a bodily ripping shake at the final gripping between teeth deans hand was already halfway to a hit to the beasts eyeball with his other hand.

Dean relished the contact even as it ripped at his skin punching the beast on his arm. The beast curled a clawed arm to itself and shot out sinking sharp fingers into deans side dean growled and leaned into the fur of the beast biting at the available shoulder. Both the beast and dean made eye contact across the distance between each other, and both smiled in their own way.

The beast shoved dean back into the hallway and stood on all fours and stalked forward, wanting dean to run down the hallway. Dean for his part reflected the idea. The beast hesitated for a moment. Took in deans smile and fled. Loaping the beast whimpered like a struck dog down the hallway dean followed at a canter that alone in a field may have looked like a happy man enjoying the sunlight and optimism of a good day.

The beast saw a wall at the end of the hall and slowed slightly looking back at dean right behind it. The person in the last cell if asked would have said the beast smiled. As it reached the wall it put its once hands on it using its momentum it turned into the wall and jumped back the other direction, into dean. Its throat at deans eyelevel it opened its jaws ready to tear deans face and neck apart.

Dean instinctively threw his hands up to protect his face but then reached out and met the beasts maw with a closed fist shoving the other down its throat, the surprised creature was just registering what had happened and gagged as dean reached further down and clawed for purchase, something to grab and rip out. Scrabbling against time between surprise and thought in the beast before it figured to bite and rip rather than wide eyed try to process and flee deans blunt fingers scraped against smooth slick flesh finding no good hold inside of the animal.

Deans face a grim concentration his jaw set. The beast vomited on deans arm and backed away from dean a bloody trail and coughing wheeze it scraped the floor by way of threat. Dean was admiring something in his hand a tube, probably part of the beasts esophagus. " you've got guts, ill give you that" dean threw the meat at the beast.

And with the one brass knuckle he still had he went to town on the things head it was dazed by the first hit and dead by the third but dean wasn't done until he had ripped the things heart out in flury of bloodlust and ate it, pulling slick meat from twitching flesh a senew from the upper heart got stuck in deans teeth. Dean went from cell to cell offering up hunks of the beasts flesh to any takers and watching the occupants enjoy it with a rapt attention. Picking at the hard bits of senew between his teeth dean enjoyed the way the occupents enjoyed by empathy.

Dragging the beasts corpse until there was nothing left of it but the tail with which dean found himself hitting on a cute short slightly green woman " when's the last time you had a piece of tail hmmm?". Crowley who had been hanging around just outside of dimension popped back in as dean had started to in Ernest molest one of the more impressionable prisoners through the bars. "dean that dryad must stay a virgin to be useful in my spells"

"also would you want your first time to be through bars?" Crowley put up a hand not wanting to look at dean about that answer, the man had his dick out. "never mind I don't want to know" Crowley heard a sigh and a zipper "maybe next time, sweettits"

Crowley snapped and dean found himself in front of a angel tied to a wall, dean himself was a terrifying sight covered in blood and smelling of a slaughterhouse, vomit and a dash of sex. The angel was gasping in and out a scream that came out a series of huffed squeaks as he took in each new detail and each deserved its own scream but his brain could not keep up with the incoming info.

The angel looked away from the mans face too terrified to note its gleaming eyes when he looked down at his chest the muscles there taught and the shirt, or what was left of it, soaked in blood the angel looked lower and noted the man was hard and the angel closed his eyes and whimpered. Dean looked down at himself and realized what made the angel close its eyes and whimper defeatedly and laughed hysterically.

Dean calmed himself and decided to test his calm and relief to see how far it went. Dean walked to the angel which just started screaming open mouthed. Dean stopped and put out a arm palm down and tried to convey a calm body language. The angel twitched visibly with each step dean took toward it. Dean put a hand on the angels shoulder "its ok" caught the angels eye "calm down a little".

the thing was shaking and his pupils tiny dots. Dean took a moment to evaluate "Crowley bring me 2 gallons of whisky" Crowley looked like he was going to make a quip but was cut short by the cold in deans eyes and with a snap was gone and back. the angel widened its eyes "don't set me on fire!" dean smiled a little "no, your going to get lit just not on fire"

Dean found himself pouring glass after glass of the stuff down a funnel into a incredibly panicky angel murmuring for the thing to embrace the relaxation in it. The first few glasses had been a fight against terror, but as dean had wanted and expected Crowley could not take the irritation of watching dean calmly argue with a angel who looked about to piss itself.

Crowley had punched the angel in the nuts and shoved a stick in the things open mouth and poured two glasses in. dean quirked a brow, took the bugger long enough to figure out he was playing bad cop.

It took all of 40 minutes for the angel to slump against the wall it was pinned to and barf. Dean looked back at the impressive amount of empty jugs and nodded in appreciation. Dean stepped up to the marinated angel and lifted its head by chin and hair "you still with me?" the angel took a damn long time focusing and dean smiled, careful to not let it be predatory.

"now isn't that better?" dean sat down and poured himself a glass and took a shot, and for a further 30ish minutes just talked to the angel, answering the angel back when it asked something. Only once or twice did the angel ask something sluringly that dean said he did not want to answer in front of Crowley. Crowley himself ended up in another chair in the room and conversated as well. But deans mind was not on the conversation, it was on smiling at the right time, and keeping his face open and honest whenever the angel lifted its head.

Dean was unsure if the was dancing the thread between really drunk and unconseous on the angel and though he did not want to overplay his hand he did not want to have a unconseous subject. honestly dean did not want to invest anymore into this than today. Dean got up and walked to the angel who started when he got near, dean rested his hands on the angels shoulder and took in the eyes, pupils open, twitching open and inward slightly in hope and fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you" dean wound a arm behind the angels back and leaned flush to it, and dean raised a brow knowing he would see it and seeing it were different things. There was a blush starting at the drunken angels ears.

Dean waited a moment leaned down to ask of the ear in a voice and tone that had once gotten Cas to show them, being sure to throw honesty in there so the angel would not hear lie. "I want to see your wings" dean amended "I wont hurt them" the angel twitched against the wall face a drunken aghast, dean murmured

"there is no harm in this little thing, and honestly a little break from Crowley's thugs slathering your insides around the room is nice. I'm trying to help you out here"

It took surprisingly little further coaxing, a finger trailing down the angels neck..

Dean ran his hands through the feathers Crowley noted the closed eyes spoke volumes unsaid of deans mindset, dean felt through the feathers a warmth and fear shaking them dean was searching in the panic flowing out of the angel for a opening into the things conseousness, a weak point. A obvious complexity of passing color waved to deans mind as he had let the energy communicate through his hands he had learned to decipher only slightly by trial and error with Cas.

This was a poor communication between non compatible computers, unfamiliar lands and dean had no map for this being. Having not been on the giving side of this type of exploration in anything but dreamworld dean found his ability to do so with ease to something separate and unconnected to Cas a bit unnerving.

The angel was burning his hands a little, dean was sure the thing was concentrating on maintaining them in form. Dean knew that the angel would not open up its weaknesses or unabated conseous to a terrifying stranger and leaned into the angels shoulder, closing the distance between them "its going to be ok" dean whispered, and sure enough hope, fear and confusion chased openly on the open face of this too innocent beast.

No wonder Crowley had kept this one, the face alone did not tell all of the story as dean felt the emotion across his palms tangible ringing across feathers a weakness he felt with it he could rend the creature and dean pulled his hand away and walked to Crowley a hand covering his jaw and holding his mouth shut.

The angels energy looking for comfort had swirled in hope against deans hand. As plain as anything even if the beast did not know it, it was wanting to trust dean. Dean suddenly tasted the blood on his mouth, and trotted past Crowley to heave up the heart of the beast resting against the wall dean panted and hurled till empty. Disgusted commentary was rambling from Crowley. This wasn't fun anymore. "sorry Crowley I'm not dark side enough for this game" dean gritted the finality of the statement the edge lost in empty gagging.

Later and several more drinks in a bar somewhere in Hampton V.A. [Crowley said he liked the irony in the 666 area code] Dean looked at Crowley and put his arm around the demons shoulder. "You know what I like about what we have? I don't have to hold back anything." dean smiled ruefully " I don't mind hurting you" dean slumped into the hug "… and not being afraid to is such a fucking relief you know" dean slurred something unintelligible but wrought with emotion his glazed eyes gleaming drunkenly… then dean burped.

Crowley's eyes softened for a moment then he wrinkled his nose at the burp and disentangled himself from the beast dean waving a hand in air. "dean you're a sappy drunk" dean reached up and squeezed Crowley's chubby cheek between thumb and forefinger. "nuaaa, your awesome" dean drunkenly reported.


End file.
